Ok so my parents have been through one hell of a marriage. They have worked through just about any dumb thing two people could do to each other. So my mom thinks I'm over reacting to this last lack of thought from Dh. She thinks I'm expecting too much from him. I don't know what to think. I literally thought I was crazy a month a go, I went to a councillor. She ran me through a bunch of tests ect and talked to me for two sessions. She has since told me there is not much she can do for me because all my issues are rational and normal for someone in my situation. I do not have any mental health problems except for a bit of anxiety. So are my reactions to the last four days normal?

Friday- Dh goes drinking with Bm's older sister for her birthday and of course BM is there. He gets home at 230am and can't even stand straight.

Saturday- I try to talk to Dh and he tells me he's sorry for being late but I'm just going to have to get used to him being around BM.

Sunday- He apologizes for the "I'm just going to have to get use to it" comment and agrees to have a talk about boundaries after sorting out the easter/bday mix up with his sister. I feel better.

Monday- He calls his sister and finds out that yes the party is on easter, and he agrees to send Sd. Without talking to me. We didn't even get to the boundaries talk because he completely disregarded my opinion on the holiday. He called me selfish, told me I don't care about his family and said "Why do you care, its not like you want to be her mom anyways." I freaked. I think I had a mini-anxiety attack. I said "I'm a fucking idiot. I can't believe I have gotten myself in this situation. I'm stuck with you for the rest of my life and you don't even respect me." I think he only heard Stuck.

Am I over reacting? Is it wrong for me to want him to respect me? Is it selfish to want family holidays where it is just us? He has shown change by talking about things before, am I just heaping too much on him? Or should this stuff be common sense?