My business.... grrr
My fiance had a conversation with his ex, you know the fling that ended up pregnant? Before talking to me about it he asked if my step daughter will be allowed around me when I am breastfeeding our child. In my opinion, this is none of her business untill it becomes an issue. I feel that breastfeeding is a privet thing between mother and child so I plan to have a big comfy chair in the nursery where I can be alone. (I'm only 18 weeks preggo) It really hurt me that he would talk to her about it first. I don't want anyone around me when I'm breastfeeding (except maybe my fiance in the middle of the night) but I now have PERMISSION to have SD there. I think it should have been my call. I feel like he went and told her some very personal secret about me. I know that breastfeeding is natural and all but its MY CHOICE! idk What is your opinion?
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Why would he ask her
Why would he ask her permission? He's her father - that should be up to the 2 of you, not her.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
Ok so I'm not crazy. I
Ok so I'm not crazy. I completely freaked when he told me about this conversation. I feel it is my right to feed my child in my house. However his argument is that Bm should be awear incase SD comes home with questions. I said F that! We didn't ask her permission about us getting pregnant and damn there's been some akward questions about that. idk... he doesn't understand. Maybe I'll get him to read this, with other women's opinions on it when he gets home.
"If that was the case, they
"If that was the case, they can live with each other."
EXACTLY!!! Just because BM did everything she could to destroy her pregnancy and ended up delivering at 31 months, so "her milk didn't come in" (says her family) does not mean that she should have ANY say in my choices during and after my healthy pregnancy!
Grrrrr
When I was breastfeeding it
When I was breastfeeding it was all about feeding my baby. I didn't need anyones permission to feed my child!!! Are you kidding me? If bm would have said something, I would have told her to then keep her kids out of my house, as I would be breastfeeding as needed!!! ANd that I would be done breastfeeding when my baby was about a year... so good luck with being a full time mama until then!!!
After talking he still
After talking he still believes he has every right to talk to BM about this and that I had no choice in the matter anyways. Its HIS daughter and he HAS to co parent, if I didn't like the idea of BM being in my life I should have thought of that.
I know she's going to be around forever but she doesn't need to know intimate details of my life. I have no idea how to get him to realize this.
Oh no!! NO NO NO NO NO!!!
Oh no!! NO NO NO NO NO!!! Are you freaking kidding me. The only person that I co-parent with is my husband. It is MY HOME.. MY RULES!!! It will be the same across the board for all of the kids. And two of his kids are not going to get special treatment when they are in my house.
And if my dh thought that I was going to put up with crap, then his kids will not be allowed here. Oh, that just makes me livid! You are his wife... the only person that he needs to coparent with is you!
And as for your breastfeeding, it is your f-ing body. If you choose to feed YOUR kid with YOUR breasts then it is none of even freakin DH's business. You need to be parenting with him about the fact that you are feeding your baby the best food possible. Period. And if someone doesn't want to see you FEEDING your baby, then they can get the hell out!
lol thanks! Validation on
lol thanks! Validation on how I feel makes things seem easier. But how do I get him to understand this?
Tell him point blank that
Tell him point blank that you are also having his child. And if he wants to continue to be a part of said childs life, then he needs to do what is best for the new child. And when it comes to your body and YOUR child, BM of his other kid has absolutely no freaking say
Your job as a mother is to protect and do what is best for your baby. And if you choose to breastfeed YOUR baby, it is your business. And if he or BM doesn't like it, then too bad and oh so sad.
When terror toddler was throwing things at people, around MY baby, I said oh no. I told dh that he could play perfectdad all her wanted, but if that kid ever hurts her on pupose or by mistake, then I will hold DH accountable, and I will take his kid and spank him on the spot and after that, he will be banished from my home -forever! No second chance to hurt my baby. HIS baby. I dont care how jealous terror toddler is of my baby, because if he touches one hair on my baby's head... he will be jealous from BMs home for the rest of his life. Because I would be pissed everytime I see the kid. I will not forgive him for not taking care of the problem.
So now terror toddler is not allowed even in the same room as baby. Once when terror toddler was looking at the baby, his dad told him not to even look. He will get over his little feelings, but not at the expense of hurting my baby.
SO, tell him that it is your job, and will do whatever it takes to take the best care of YOUR child, and if he doesn't like it, then he can go back to BM.
wow... this kinda scares me
wow... this kinda scares me because SD has already told me that the baby is going to cry when she pushes him/her down. I said if you purposly hurt your baby brother or sister you will be in ALOT if trouble. I guess we'll see. She's already mad that I'm the baby's mom and her dad is the dad. She asked if the baby's mom was growing in my belly too. Then made a disgusted face when I told her I was the mommy. idk I hope she can be a good big sister like she wanted before she had to go with her mom. (Stupid fucking judge.)
If it was your child with a
If it was your child with a new sibling how would you feel?
thetis, why did your DH
thetis, why did your DH decide he needed to have a conversation about this with BM?
I told him about this post
I told him about this post and he has said he was wrong. That it is none of her business since I am not planning on openly feeding. He's just trying to do the right thing, and making alot of SILLY mistakes as he goes. (Still think even if I was planning on wiping out my boobs everytime the kid cried it would be MY business.)He is hoping that by showing BM some curtesies like letting her know when akward questions may be coming he will get the same in return (silly silly silly)
I have to tell you, you WILL
I have to tell you, you WILL be whipping out you boobs all the time and anywhere. You are not going to want to go hide everytime the baby needs to feed because for a while there, that's all you do
But it is your business and your DH owes his ex no information about the way you are parenting, feeding or caring for your own child.
I love that idea! I have a
I love that idea! I have a bunch of National Geographics I can contribute ;P
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
I agree.. when I first
I agree.. when I first started nursing, I was one of those shy, let me be in private mammas. But when baby was screaming in the middle of a restaurant, even my dh at the time would tell me to whip those suckers out and feed the baby.
lol I have no idea what it
lol I have no idea what it is going to be like, so more then likely you guys are all right! Thanks for the great input by the way!
Stepma, it always drives me insane to hear of people judging others on where, how long and when they breatfeed. It is none of their business! It is a choice you have made and no one should be able to take away from your right to make it (perfect strangers or BMs)