Someone Explain this one to me if possible.. "Clothing" Why..
Does BM always have this bizarre issue with SS's clothing?
She is always saying, I want his shirt back, I want his pants, where's his hat?! Where's his jacket?!
She does the same thing to his teacher and to his daycare
When we get him we wash the clothes he came in and return him in the clothes aside from the mis-matched dirty socks/underwear and t-shirts, we send him back in our matching socks, clean undershirts and underwear.
The clothes she dresses him in are always filthy and never taken care of, often times he arrives in his 10 year old brothers too big clothing or underwear, just a tad too big for a 5.5 year old!!
She also dresses him in about 4 shirts when he goes to school, the teacher says that she often needs to take at least 3 shirts off of him because he complains of being too hot all the time.
I guess what I'm asking is..
Why is it that she NEVER returns clothing to us that we send him in
Never returns clothing back to the school when they've had to put clothing out of their surplus on SS etc
but she ALWAYS is very adamant about wanting a cheap hat
or faded ripped shirt or some other rediculous item from everyone else?
I want his jeans
I want his sweatshirt
I want his hat etc.
We always return his clothing as does the school?
I don't get it..
and why all the damn shirts all the time? overdressing?
What is wrong with her????
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well in our case..its really
well in our case..its really nothing to do with the clothes, bm just uses it as something else to harass us about or try to control us. we do the same as far as wash what she sends him in and then send him back in the exact same...we do have an extra outfit of hers so that if its a quick turn around he doesnt have to wear the same god awful outfit back to back...lol, at least its a different god awful outfit. Before we would just send him in clothes that were almost too small for him (maybe the jeans were half an inch shorter than they would be if the right size) she then complained that we were not spending money on ss for clothes that fit him...but really we were just sick of her keeping the expensive brand name clothes that i buy for him! She also has this thing that she demands that we put him in boxers because he tells her that he likes those better than boxer briefs, but for us ss is always "itching" himself when in boxers........she actually text dh about it and he text back and told her to leave him alone, he will put him in what he wants to, and if ss has a problem that ss would have told him! she text back, why are you being so rude to me? Its all a freaking control game in trying to get a reaction, and sometimes these stupid women just want something to bitch about.
when i pick up ss from day care, the lady rolls her eyes and we giggle about what ss has been put in with his holy shoes, jacket with no zipper, and stained clothes. I now take clothes with me because if i need to go in to any stores on my way home i wont be seen in public with him dressed the way she dresses him.
Wow you sound like DH and
Wow you sound like DH and I.. I swear she puts the crappy clothes on him so we will buy him new, which we do, but he wears them when he's with us, and they stay at our house!
We have tried every now and again sending him in something we bought, if he had an accident or whatever.. never to be seen again.. lol.. So I make sure the poor child goes back in what he came in.. At least I know we washed the clothes on our end :O)
I dunno either..... I would
I dunno either..... I would think it is a control thing maybe. BM here does the same things - sends her in two small clothing and with two small clothing to visit us.
But I purchased SD a wardrobe for here - so we put our clothing on her - and send her back in her moms stuff.
SD is always dressed very nicely when we see her in NC. I just think BM purposely sends us the old ratty stuff I guess to hurt us. BUT we got smart and bought our own stuff.
We refuse to let SD walk around looking like that.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
I say it is control. BM is
I say it is control. BM is very controlling with SS's teachers and daycares. Clothes she is not bad with. It is usually me asking for things back because she dresses him like a geek (poor kid). And I dress him stylish, and with MATCHING clothes. But the things she does have "control" over, she takes to extreme. Makes her feel better, like a good mom I guess. Not real sure how fighting over a pair of socks makes you a good mom... but if that is what is in her mind, so be it.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
thats a good point "makes
thats a good point "makes her feel like a good mom" that really made me put some stuff in oerspective...bm is poor white trash and had a horrible up bringing..she honestly had no example growing up to learn what a "good" mother was...there fore bringing up stupid stuff like this makes her think that she a good mom being concerned with his clothes..because shes to stupid to see what the real things she should focus on are.
Control is the issue not the
Control is the issue not the clothes. Like someone else said, it's one more thing she can harrass you about.
I think it's also a territorial thing - it's her son, not yours - his socks, his pants, etc. - not yours. She probably has issues that her family is no longer in tact and sees you as a threat because you are now with the father of her child. She lost control a long time ago so she focuses on the things she can control.
It's like she's hiking her leg like a dog - MINE, MINE, MINE - I want this back, I want that back - MINE, MINE, MINE.
Excellent, I almost have to
Excellent, I almost have to get someone elses perspective to make sense of it all.
That makes perfect sense!
THANK YOU ALL!!
Been there done that! BM
Been there done that! BM would send the kids in clothes, undersocks, socks that were either way too small or way too large. DH and I refuse to send the kids looking like homeless trash. We send nice clothes and get crap ones back! Than she'd ask for the crap stuff back. So now we have clothes that are okay but not super nice but not trash, that the kids go back and forth in. It is a control thing, its something she can talk to DH about or feel like she can control at our house. When in all reality I could care less, they are just clothes and as long as the boys where them and are dressed, thats all that should matter.
She is She is an undiagnosed
She is
She is an undiagnosed but suggested bipolar and I believe
there's more mental issues mixed with that..
It's like a crazy cocktail!
Definitely control. Wilda's
Definitely control. Wilda's always whining about clothes & how she wants this and that and why can't you pack everything on Sunday night? You're so irresponsible, you're selfish, everything's always about you and then it snowballs from there. I helped SD go through her drawers a couple of weekends ago & we were making a pile to donate. Some of the stuff was SO small but "That's one of Mommy's favorites". Well you know what? Mommy can have it. I packed all of that crap up and sent it over there.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
Control...gives her importance.
My first thought...was maybe she doesnt have money to replace clothing and wants to make sure she gets it back. (Been there with my daughters dad. I am the only one that buys them, cannot replace them and want them back). But then after reading more it seems like it is something she does to make herself seem in control and that she is trying to be on top of things.