Anxious over attys meeting today
Not really sure why, except that maybe BM will come out more upset and angry and start taking out on DH and me again, not to mention SD.
Order was finalized in Oct, but by end of month, already an issue with "interpretation" of the order. DH is very flexible on certain things and feels that as adults, the two of them should be able to work out things not covered by Order. However, BM feels if not in Order, than not to happen. IE DH had no problem about having BM p/up SD at school EOWE for her visitation, but Order does not say that! So BM has to have clarification, for fear DH will file contempt (what a load of crap--DH has never initiated any court proceedings, except to establish CS payments)
Only issue I see is that BM is in contempt right now and hasn't taken her Parenting Teens class which should have been done. Maybe she'll have some consequence for that today--one can only dream }:)
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In my experiences judges do
In my experiences judges do not want to get involved in every "interpretation". They expect people to be adults. In fact, our judge told us his hope and expectation is that eventually as SD grows they can work out what is best for her amongst themselves. If we do make major changes. We document it and make Wingnut sign it, so there is no confusion.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
And good luck! "God is
And good luck!
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
Yes, you would think that 2
Yes, you would think that 2 adults could set up extra items, change things, etc... as long as both parties agreed, and yes, even signing something is a GREAT idea. Unfortunately, our BPD BM doesn't work that way. EVERYTHING has to be written down or she WILL abuse things and take things for granted if we let her do something ONE time. Oh well. We shall see, Thanks though soversad
ahh - key word ADULT. Some
ahh - key word ADULT. Some grown people aren't really adults, they're large children.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
I'm pretty sure is dh and I
I'm pretty sure is dh and I stay on SD for the next 6 months or so, she will have surpassed her mother's emotional capabilities. Sad, but true. We're often dealing with 6 year olds in adult bodies.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
LOL---My BS15 has already
LOL---My BS15 has already surpassed hs BD by about 3 years now is maturity, responsibility and emotional maturity. Shame I didn't see issues of my ex before I married him, but then I wouldn't have a terrific BS.
PH, From my experiences with
PH,
From my experiences with my Skid's (SS-17) Court Order situation around Custody/Visitation/Support there are risks and rewards associated with both a strictly defined judgment and a more loosly defined judgement.
With a strictly defined Judgement some flexibility is lost.
With a loosely defined Judgement there is a significant opportunity for one party or the other to manipulate the situation.
For more than 15yrs now we have used the Judgement to keep BioDad and the SpermClan under control as far as their attempted manipulations. We have had to go back to court only once for clarification from the Judge and that was ~1yr after the initial court date. The Judge added clarifying language on what constitutes the begining and end of a visitation and on who can provide transportation. THEY were returning the Skid late because THEY felt that travel was on my Wife's time and that THEIR visitation did not start until the Skid arrived with them. In court the Judge clearly stated that travel is on the NCP's time though the information was not included in the written Judgement. The verbiage was added when we all went back to court for clarification. This pissed off the SpermClan.
We had our own issue that needed clarification also. My wife insisted that BioDad had to be the one to pick up the Skid for visitation. The Judge clarified that all parties had to work together to facilitate visitation transportation and that GrandParnents could transport the Skid. Though only the GPs were mentioned as alternative trasporters neither BioDad nor his parents ever came to get the kid when he was little. They always had someone else come get him which we could have refused to allow but chose to not fight that particular battle. My Wife was a 16yo single teen mom and moved out of state as soon as she finished HS so the Skid has always had to fly for visitation. Most airlines will not allow unaccompanied minors until age 12 so THEY had to come get him and we had to go pick him up to get him home following visitation.
I personally believe that a more clearly defined Judgement is the better way to go, particularly in a situation where one or the other BioParent tends to be manipulative and incapable of effectively working in the best interest of the child(ren).
Just my thoughts and experiences of course.
Good luck and best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)
Thanks rags. SD is almost
Thanks rags. SD is almost 17, and past 3 years have been nightmare w/BM and wanting more time with SD and doing just about ANYTHING to get, including keeping us on edge for various motions and such. Finally had ended in oct (prayerfully, though are expecting another motion sometime in 2010 to modify again) when Judge determined DH was best place STILL for SD (obviously 10 yrs as SCP was enough proof)
I can see BM at the courthouse now (even though just attorneys, supposedly) trying to get her two cents in and wreaking havoc. Hopefully will hear from out atty soon.
thanks all
It is my understanding that
It is my understanding that in most jurisdictions once a modification is implemented that the CO can not be reviewed for 2yrs except in the event of a major change of circumstance (death, illness, out of state move, unemployement, birth of another child, etc....).
You may want to ask your atty if you can lock things in on the last mod until 2yrs has passed.
Good luck and best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)
hadn't heard of that here. I
hadn't heard of that here. I will look into though. She had just dropped her last motion back in Nov. 2008, then filed new one in June 2009, but nothing had really changed.