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Court Orders...ugh.

astepmom's picture

As part of a child support modification that my husband just had done, the judge ordered that the skids are allowed to bring their stupid cell phone with them to our house. We can still take it away as soon as they enter the house, since all they do is use it at inappropriate times and call their BM when they get in trouble, but we have to babysit it for her all weekend.

I don't understand that. If we're not going to let them use it, why do we have to even mess with it? Stupid!

Comments

Snarky's picture

Shouldn't things going into our home be up to you? This is intrusive of your basic right to a peaceful home, which, a cell phone in this case is not conducive to. We do not allow SK cell phone in our home either. BM has used that as a tool to invade privacy and help SD act out. When we instituted the rule that the cell phone stays with BM, SD refused to come over at all. It was ridiculous, picking a cell phone over her own father. BM backed her up all the way too.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

kimber4155's picture

Ugh!!!!! Man! The one thing I am truely getting from this site is things don"t get easier as the skids get older. I just get new and bigger problems with Skids and BF.... Holy cow......

astepmom's picture

Kimber: I know. I think of the college years with dread nearly every single day. Or once they have their drivers license? OMG. I can't even imagine.

I'll think about that tomorrow, like Scarlett O'Hara.

Milomom's picture

My BF's kids (SD15 & SS12) both have cell phones. I feel that there are pro's & con's. Pro: when BM feels the need to annoy us & call the kids for something "important" 4 times a day when they're with us, she now has to call them directly (as opposed to calling our home or my BF's cell phone so she can make excuses to be able to talk to BF directly). Con: Skids constantly call BM & whine & complain to her when they're not getting their way at our house. My advice is that you have to pick your battles. You have the right to establish rules & boundaries about the use of the cell phone by the skids in your home, though. Oh, and I kinda agree with kimber4155 above me, though. Good luck astep!!

kidsaplenty's picture

Okay, that does sound pretty stupid. Sounds like the judge just wanted to get out of there and go home early.

astepmom's picture

Well, just a quick update. It ended up working out fine. SS brought the phone in and immediately tried to mention calling his mom. I said, "Take that to your dad. It's not allowed here." He wandered off. I ignored it b/c we were in the middle of a NYE party. Ten minutes later, he was waving it around his dad (I think he wanted to just get busted and get it over with). His dad took it away. SS said, "Mom said to tell you I'm allowed to have it." DH said, "You're allowed to bring it; and I'm allowed to take it away. Just like always." So it was returned to him once BM was in the driveway to pick him up after the parenting time.

We agree that once he has a social need for it, we would allow him to use it. Until then, it will be taken away when he walks in the door and returned when he walks out. At this point, his only use for it is to text BM when he's supposed to be sleeping and to call her when he's supposed to be in timeout. The BM had requested that we be required to care for it, so that he can take it to school w/ him after DH's parenting time. It's so stupid. It just enables her to do things like leave him unsupervised and leave him waiting places while she runs late. Our attorney didn't response to her attorney's motion, so I guess the judge thought we didnt' care. I shouldn't complain. Our attorney was focused on the stuff that really mattered.

I am curious about the liability for it though. As DH follows up on some of the things that are in the most recent court order, he's going to inform her that although he will comply with the judge's order, he wants her to understand that we are taking no liability for her phone. Any damage or loss will have to rest with her since she will have the understanding that SS is still not going to be allowed to use it or hide it.

Hopefully after the financial repercussions of the order hit her, she'll have to cancel the dumb thing anyway. Thanks for all your comments!

stepmom2one's picture

"At this point, his only use for it is to text BM when he's supposed to be sleeping and to call her when he's supposed to be in timeout. "

That is exactly what SD10 uses the cell for! Well put!

astepmom's picture

I know! I want to say: Get some friends to call or text and maybe we'll let you use the thing!