Again???
Here we go again…got another text message from BM last night.
Preface: SD5 has a homework packet each week which she must work on each night and return to school on Friday. Typically it’s a couple nursery rhymes which she has to recite and then pick out her sight words (she is in Kindergarten). Each night whoever helps her with this writes down the name of the “story”, what time we worked on it and comments regarding her strengths or weaknesses. No signature is required.
OK, so I told you all of that to tell you this. The homework packet this week came with an extra assignment. An adult was to help the child learn the difference between asking and telling. So the assignment was to put an object in a bag and have your child ask questions to try and guess the object. Now, this came home with SD5 on Monday when she was with BM and she did not help her with it. On Tuesday SD5 came home to our house and I helped her with her Tuesday night reading. SD5 asked me to do the extra assignment with her – of course I will!!! SD5 wrote my name on the line that said parent/guardian signature (isn’t she too cute). I played the game with her and it was actually a lot of fun! Afterwards I showed DH that SD5 had written my name on the line and if I should just sign below…SD5 heard me ask this and she said yes, Mrs. So and so said that whoever helps you with this needs to sign their name on the line… So, I signed underneath where SD5 had already written my name because I helped her.
Well, Wednesday night when they were back at BM’s house she saw that I had signed it and sent me a message saying: Stop signing as a parent. Bio dad and I can take care of it. To which I replied: SD5 asked me to help her with it and sign it, so I did. She replied: Like I said – bio dad and I can take care of it. To which I replied: Mrs. So and so told SD5 who helps her with it – signs it. Leave me alone about it. She replied: It says parent – you aren’t – stop signing. Stop signing, I’ll stop talking about it. My response: Stop taking it so literally – its homework! I got no response. Go figure.
She is really bugging me about this. I should be able to help my SD’s with their homework and sign off on it!!! Ugh… I wonder what will happen when she finds out I volunteer in SD5’s class. Hehehehe!!
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Stpmommy... don't let BM get
Stpmommy... don't let BM get to you!! You painted a great picture and your SD is lucky to have you. Now, I hate to add a damper, but somehow, please be sure that BM doesn't take it out on SD5 for asking you to sign it. Because she may. You didn't do anything wrong. You did everything right. BM is just going to have to get over it!! Just keep an eye out for BM taking it out on the little girl!!
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
'Stop signing as a
'Stop signing as a parent'
Why? When your SD is at your home, you are the active 'mom'. Just because 'step' is in front of 'mom' doesn't mean that you can't help with her homework and sign-off on it. Next time, sign it 'step-mom so and so'. See if that appeases her. If BM had helped with it on Monday and signed it, this wouldn't even be an issue, would it?
My dh's ex did take it out
My dh's ex did take it out on the kids when i would sign off on their homework. So they were told never to bring homework ever again at our house...been over 5 years now that i have helped in anything much less sign off on something. Stepkids are very pist off about it and voice it loudly that they wish i could help them so they can get good marks...oh well. I tell them , its not my fault. If your mom wants it, then...so be it. I'm not hitting my head against a brick wall. You'll just have to get lower grades. But feell free to alway express yourself about it!:)
I always find it funny how a
I always find it funny how a BM, even though she has not been the DH is years, will still try to make it very clear to SM that the SM has nothing to do with "their" family. They are not a family anymore and to be perfectly honest, you are as much a part of that little girls life as her own mother is. BM need to accept the fact that DH has moved on and does have another family with his children that DOES not include BM. BM need to get out of the picture and let it be. Deal with your children ONLY and that should be that...in a perfect world.
Purpleflower
OMG I went through a similar
OMG I went through a similar thing with BM. I was temp laid off so I started to pick up SS4 from daycare and SS8 from school. My DH had to call the school and daycare and let them know I was picking them up. At the daycare, I had to give my license and everyday sign him out. Well, the first day I thought I signed him out, I signed him up for a Field Trip b/c there was just a sheet with a bunch of child's name and signatures, no title or anything so I assumed that was the sheet DH told me about. When BM dropped SS4 off at daycare a day later, she saw I signed that and called DH and said I wasnt his parent and shouldnt be signing him up for Field Trips so dumbfounded DH said you signed us up for a Field Trip and me being dumbfounded goes WTF are you talking about. So I said I signed the sheet on the clipboard like you told me, the daycare providers didnt tell me what to sign and he starts laughing and goes that was a signup sheet to go to Discovery Zone. But BM went nuts about how I'm not his mom and shouldnt be signing him up for things and all this. GET OVER IT! Its a signature not a birth Cert!!
To me, when BM's respond
To me, when BM's respond like this it makes me think that actually, they're happy for you to have some responsibility for their kid, happy for you to put yourself out & help them... but not have anyone else know about it in case it damages the image they've built of being a poor abandoned single mother!
I would just let her blow
I would just let her blow off her steam and ignore her. I wouldn't even respond to it. Keep doing what you're doing. You are a good resource for your SD.