Getting a lawyer...
DH has all papers in order that shows that BM is 100% responsible for the house. DH says he will not stop at that. He's going to at least get a better visitation agreement, if not full custody. We'll have to see what the lawyer says about that. We have all e-mails from BM and SD16 saved so those will be printed out for the lawyer. I'm hoping what we have will help enough for DH and his children to see each other more (or all the time). This all has to be on the roll by tomorrow. DH has 28 days till court. Now, it's time to get back to my research. I have found plenty of lawyers that are able to help with this. I just want all the info I can get for DH.
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Good luck with everything.
Good luck with everything. What your dh will need to prepare for is regardless what the divorce lawyer rules or how hard he comes down on bm if he is still on the bank loan they can still come after him for the full amount (the divorce court is not able to nullify his contract with the bank). That means no matter how many strikes divorce court gives bm if she doesn't pay they can come after him and even sue him and garnish his wages. It is a stupid thing that is happening to a lot of people. Lawyers convince one party to sign a quit claim deed (meaning now they have no rights to the house) but they are still on the loan. The way it should work is if one party wants the house they finance it in their name only immediately or it should be sold. I would think given the age of the sd at this point it might all come down to what she says she wants. Which is too bad because it does sound like bm is totally wrong and trying to discourage her visiting but if she manipulates sd to say this is what she wants it might not turn out good. Hopefully she will want away from the manipulations bm is doing.
We gathered up all the
We gathered up all the documents, even the house loan/refinance papers. That was all signed over to BM about a month after their divorce (it's been over 9 years). I'm almost 95% certain SD will want to live with us. She's said it many times, in e-mails, texts and on the phone. Not sure about my SS12. To me it sounds like BM would almost be willing to give him up, as sad as that sounds. She has told DH on numerous occasions "I should send the boy to you, I can't deal with it" Those were her exact words. Of course she backs down from that statement because DH says "sure, go ahead, I can handle it" But, then again there we have the he said/she said that more than likely won't even be brought up in court. I know it's going to be a long road, but I knew what I got myself into to begin with.
can you get her to say that
can you get her to say that in an email? but you file papers?
If you have refinance papers
If you have refinance papers from the institution that made the loan that state bd has been released from the loan you are golden. If you just have divorce court papers that state she is 100% responsible for paying for the house loan this will not change dh's responsiblity to the loan institution at all. They will still be able to hold him responsible. He will be able to keep trying to go after bm for the money but it will not alter what the loan instution does as far as coming after him. I was in the same sitch but on the nicer side. x's laywer got him to sign the quit claim deed right away and I had x number of years to refinance. I did, because I like to do things right, but truth is had I not done it both x and I would have still been responsible for the payments to the loan institution. Eventually they will take the house and both parties credit will be ruined so she must not care much about the house or her credit and I can just about guarantee she could care less about your dh's.
Very true.
Very true.
Good for you. Talking to a
Good for you. Talking to a lawyer is a great idea. They will take the guess work out of it all.