When he's in bed sneak the cell phone and look through it. I know, alot of people will say don't do that, if you have to do that it's time to move on, blah blah blah. But hey, if you wanna know that's how you can find out!

I think that's a BAD road to go down, ladies.

Now hear me out on this one. You already KNOW they are talking on his work cell. You already KNOW he's paying for her things. So you already have established trust issues with him.

So what do you expect to find when you "break into" his work cell? Secret phone calls between him and the BM?

Ok, and what if you DO? What will happen then? Will you confront him? He'd surely have a GOOD EXCUSE as to WHY he's talking to her (something about SD, obviously).

The point is, you are only going to drive yourself crazy with this. You either trust him or you don't. Or you finally get things out in the open with him about it all and stop tip-toeing around the issues, but stop trying to snoop into his cell phone.

You will absolutely drive yourself CRAZY day in and day out with that kind of obsessive thinking. It isn't healthy. And you don't deserve to live your life like that, sweetie

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

awwwwww 5teens I wish I shared your mentality. But I would snoop too!!! Only because it would give me peace of mind that I was right and not some crazy nut, lol.

If I were you Nomorefaking, I'd just sit back and let it all come to light. If something shady is going on it will come to the light. You have a reason to be suspiscous but you can't prove anything yet so I'd just sit back and wait. Everything done in the dark always comes to the light.

I would come right out and tell him that there should be no secrets in a marriage and because you are aware that sneakiness is going on with his daughter and they are keeping secrets from you, you want access to the password to his phone. Don't let him make you feel like YOU'RE doing something wrong. You aren't. He is the one that is causing you to not trust him. It is his responsibility to make you feel better.

I agree with 5teensathome..Nothing good will come of this! Don't snoop!

"And this too shall pass..."

I agree with life84....When people lie, it eventually comes out and then you can truly be angry. At this point, he can call you crazy and say you're making up stuff just to feed your craziness. I had a BF like that who turned it on me until his 'other woman' called me!! So what goes on in the dark will definitely come to light. Patience is a virtue!

No one can make you feel inferior with your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt

Even if you could get access to his phone, what would it tell you? That at say 10am this morning he spoke to his daughter for 5 minutes? People rarely leave incriminating text messages on their phones either.

You could either try dropping into conversation that SD's not called the house recently, has he spoken to her & is she OK - it could be that she's phoning his work phone as she's on the same network & gets free calls there, or a certain time of day is now convenient.

The other option is to come out with what you've said on here - you noticed on the phone bill that he's not been calling her, and you feel shut out of what's going on.

How about going out more with him and just making arrangements to have alot of alone time with hubby and see what pops up. Keep him busy all the time all week or so with you, doing things with you or doing things together. You know, join yourself to the hip for a while and see what pops up. And yes, ask , hey you dont keep in touch with your daughter anymore? have you guys had a fight?
My dh also doesn't tell me everything....he writes on facebook alot to his daughter.

Well me being me..if I was in your position what I would say is: Look if your going to keep things from me, hide things from your WIFE then the deal is over man. If you don't want me to lie and keep things from you then don't do it to me. If you can't be honest with me then let's throw in the towel.

And call it a day..

No way in hell would I put up with sneakiness. I flat out ask my DH " did bitch face call you or text you" and he is honest and says yeah or no" he will even show me the email or text if she sends him one. You lay the law down and stick to your guns. No way should they be ganging up against you in secrecey like that..thats not right. You lay it out for them to play it out..know what i'm saying? Don't put up with that Bull shit.

Purpleflower

I agree with Purpleflower, but probably wouldn't bring it up quite so aggressively.
I think at the very least if it were bothering you terribly, you might tell him that you feel like you can't trust him and that the lack of trust is detrimental to your marriage.

If he could lie and sneak around about this, what else would he be willing to hide from you. Obviously, he doesn't trust you either with knowing how he's handling things. It suggests the partnership or team of husband and wife has been marred.

If it's eating you up inside, you should confront him. But I wouldn't snoop. Now, if it was a kid's cell phone, I would, but not DH's. But I say that never having mistrusted him so it's a tough call. Although, it seems the password thing has made snooping a non-issue.

I don't think you'd be this paranoid over calls to his daughter if you didn't have raging pregnancy hormones.

In a year, I think you'll see this as kinda unnecessary.

I wouldn't worry so much about it. Just talk to your hubby about sd and tell him that you do not agree with him giving her handouts and enabling her lame behaviour. If he talks to his daughter behind your back, so be it. That's his right as her dad. Sd might be manipulative but if he truly loves you and she tries to meddle in your marriage, he will put her in her place....right?