I live with SD13 and SS18 full time and I can't stand it. My own kids from prev marriage are now young adults living on their own. When I married my DH two yrs ago, I had to move to his city and leave my family behind. I had doubts doing this but because I love him and he's a good man I did anyway. I found out during our engagement that his kids decided to stay with him full time instead of their BM. I almost broke it off with him. Now I'm regretting it and I don't know what to do anymore. I have nothing in common with SS and SD is completely annoying. She's lied several times and got caught drinking and doing drugs. The next step for her try is sex since she likes older guys. To make matters worse, my DH gets very defensive with his kids whenever I make a comment or statement about them. I have nothing but resentment towards his kids. I called my mom back home and cried on the phone last night because I don't know how much more I can take this.

I used to live in that kind of environment and it was extremely hard to juggle it. I married my sd's dad when she was 6. At that time, she lived with her bm. At 12, she came to live with us full time. I had two of my own children, all girls... I know... crazy...

Anyway, the kids never really got along and my xh believed "might makes right." His daugther was waaaayyy older and bigger than my girls. I told her that I really didn't care what her father said that no one touches anyone in this house and if she hit one of my kids, I would have no problem doing the same to her. He didn't like that of course, and we never did get on the same page with the kids. We are no longer married...

I know there are some families that can make it work, but I don't know any personally.

its hard i did it 6 years ago my son was young and the other husbands kids were young, sd was crazy coniving, it drove us to divorce, its all about my kids and Your kids...sucks hang in there if you can.

Fedupnow, how I feel for you my girl. Although I do not live with my SK now, I will be and GOD help me please. My SD is a whiny suck she is 11 and still afraid of the dark and insists we sleep with every light on in the house. I have to say it though, my husband backs me up 100% of the time...

I have faught with my feelings with my SK and I thought what I was feeling was not natural and wrong, but I thank GOD i found this site and realize hundreds feel exactly as we all do. I think in your case ( just my opinion only ) sit down and have a heart to heart with your husband. Sometimes...SOMETIMES silence is golden. If she wants to do drugs, sleep with older men and get a STD, then that will be a hard lesson learned right? Let him dicipline her.after all they are HIS kids and they are HIS responsibility. Put it to him this way...if he does not value your input, if he does not value when you try to lay ground rules, THEN HE can take care of them, he can cook THEIR supper when he gets home he can clean THEIR laundry. Do nothing for those kids and see what happens. If he wants to know why your actig this way tell him that he does not value your input, so he should not value your hard work for those kids either. Turn the table on him. I did that with my husband and boy oh boy did his attitude change. I come from a long line onf very STRONG willied women who do it old school...No Bull crap goes on in my house,if there is I walk and I have another home to go to as well. lay it down my girl and lay it down hard. Your teach people how to treat you...you let people walk all over you now, they always will. Get a back bone, tell it like it is and stick to your guns.

Purpleflower

sk's are always right when talking to BS and I stand by and DH get's upset when I am setting sk's straight and you know what I am here more then anyone and there BM don't come to school stuff so then I have every right to have rules in my home don't like them to bad.. your going to be lonely living up in your room then gel may slide but it holds it's own at times very thankful for my BS's set them rules or the 14 yr old will keep it up!!!

we have sd11 fulltime as bm is unfit. bf and i also have bd3 together. i must say, i would give my bf's left nut for eow lol. i really feel that having sd fulltime aded to the toxic 'relationship' we have. she and i were forced to bond but that broke after a few short months. now, her first therapy session is tomorrow but im leaving anyways after i get finances in order.

When I married my DH we had skids EOW....then he got full custody of them and we have been all living together 24/7 for years....I have no bios, so that makes it a little easier, but it is still very hard....My life changed 180 degrees overnite, but I adore those kids, so I do the best I can....BM abused them on many levels and utimately abandoned them when the kitchen got too hot, so to speak....so its a really hard life, having a career, commuting and being Mom to three kids...but I'd do it again in a heartbeat....the only thing I will say is I am blessed to have a strong DH who puts our relationship before his relationship with his kids...many SMs on here do not have that kind of support, so I guess thats 99% of the recipe for success....I can't imagine how hard it must be when a SM has bios of her own...that's why I love this site...cuz I always like to see how other people r trying to make it work....

A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....

Thank you purpleflower. I was thinking of doing exactly what you had mentioned and I have done the things you've said. It is HIS kids and frankly I no longer care to take part of the discipline for my SD. I have become emotionally disconnected with skids. I feel bad because this is not how I raised my own kids. They are my whole life and I'm so proud how they've turned out. Even though they are now young adults I miss them so much being away from them. They way I am with my Skids are total opposite. I wish everyday that they would move in with their BM but I know its highly unlikely.

I live with my Bios (a son and twin girls) and a SD 10yr full time...