have you signed documents with bm about things you agreed on? did they do you any good when bm breaks agreement?
ok, so this morning bm told dh she will still give him the child care money back when she gets her check. on sunday, bm poured her little heart full or tar out and said that she just wants whats best for ss, and she sees no that she was wrong to try and get full custody, blah blah blah...she also asked my dh, "you're not going to bring it up in front of the judge that ive been committing fraud, are you?" he told her, well i dont know, what youve done is steal from me and take advantage of the system...i want to claim son for the next two years for taxes and claim all the child care expenses, i feel thats fair with all the money youve stolen from me" (this year is her year to claim) bm says ok, absolutely, draft up a document and ill sign it! so i drafted up a letter..it read some what like this...
i dh and i bm have mutually agreed to fulfill the following contract. under no circumstances can this contractual agreement be broken by and altercation or disagreement between the two parties. Any changes must be done so in writing and signed by both parties. dh will claim ss as a dependent 2009 2010, and claim child care expenses, bm will in no way claim any type of either.
i then went on to state the procedure for years following the contract.
Bm signed it this morning. dh is going to give it to the judge to include in the court order. any thoughts or ideas about this? do you think bm will get out of this?
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Normally paperwork will not
Normally paperwork will not hold up unless notarized, but in your case, it may if BM says she did it just to keep DH from saying she committed fraud. That is my state though. Every state and every judge is different. Depending on the day the judge is having is depending on what they do.
As a notary, I can tell you
As a notary, I can tell you that all a notarization will do is prove that she did, in fact, sign the document. If she tells the judge that she changed her mind, the document is void. And if the wording isn't correct (legalese), it won't mean much.
I agree with the comment that it depends on the day the judge is having. Good luck!
Hey SMNikki - DH and I just
Hey SMNikki - DH and I just went through something similar, which is part of the reason he is going back to Mediation. He wants it filed properly.
I learned a few things about agreements...
1. You may need to (or not, depending on your judge) rewrite it to include language that says that both of them have signed it willingly and with full knowledge and understanding of it's contents. That they waive the right to having an attorney look at it before signing.
2. You may want to get it NOTARIZED. You can do this at any bank for free, but they will have to re-sign together in front of the notary.
3. If BM owes DH money, and you are planning on using that as a sort of Promissory Note, you may want to include language that says
Due date for when the money is fully due. If there's a payment schedule, include it. If not, when the full amt is due
(b) Language that says that if DH has to use legal means to collect the money, all attorney and court fees to collect same will be BM's responsibility.
You may have already included these things. When DH and BM over here signed an agreement for money that she owed him, we were told that #1 was important to have on there. And for us, #3 is important, because we feel that BM is going to try to back out on her due date.
Best of luck!
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
i thought about adding some
i thought about adding some thing like that, sound mind, full knowledge, but any one who does any type of infor digging in to bm will see that she is a loon and not sound about anything there for making it pointless.
SMNikki - The only thing
SMNikki - The only thing that you and DH should really truly consider is what BM is asking him to do. IF she truly is that unstable, is there a possibility that she may use it against him that he did not "turn her in"... basically making him her accomplice? Maybe I'm just a worrywart, but I'd be afraid that BM would hold that over our heads if she is that crazy. For example, she could start saying, "Well, HE KNEW TOO!!" and imply that he was just as guilty as her, possibly even getting some of that money.
Am I worrywart? Or do you think that's a possibility?
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
well, my concern is that she
well, my concern is that she will try to say that dh was black mailing her to sign that letter to get monetary compensation. However the letter states nothing about it having anything to do with him not bringing up certain stuff in court. dh already told her all bets are off for court with finding out she filed more paperwork.
dh simply told her when she said she wanted to make things right that she should let him claim ss for this year and next year on taxes because she had been stealing from him. he said nothing about that if she didnt he would tell the judge. he was not supposed to be told by the sitter what bm was doing so really he shouldnt have known what bm was up to, also her stealing from him is not what they would be concerned about i dont think...its that fact that she lied on things to get state asst when she was getting money from dh for child care.
dh is going to bring it up in court though, and is going to ask that the document be submitted and included in the final court paperwork so that it is noted that he can claim ss both years.
i know bm though, and all she cares about is money so im thinking she thinks she will never be held to the contract.
SMNikki - you wrote... "i
SMNikki - you wrote...
"i know bm though, and all she cares about is money so im thinking she thinks she will never be held to the contract."
This is exactly what DH is dealing with here. He gave BM until SD graduates to give him his monetary share of the marital property. He was also going to do the same with "child support".
What made me worry was that BM was already telling DH she didn't know how she would pay him in 2 years! Now, they signed this agreement in 2006. So she had from 2006 - 2011 to figure out how she was going to pay DH for his share of the marital residence. To hear her already stalling - 2 years before it's due, is disconcerting.
DH had that verbiage in their DD... that if he had to go to court or retain a lawyer to pursue that money, BM would be responsible for those extra fees.
Long winded story short... If you think that about BM... please be sure the judge puts a due date and that wording in there for you. Otherwise, it's just that much harder (and costlier) to collect.
** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
thats the thing
thats the thing though...there isnt a certain amount at this point that we can prove bm has been pocketing because her state asst has fluctuated, so there really isnt a time factor..rather that its the particular years 2009 and 2010.
Sorry SMNikki if I am
Sorry SMNikki if I am misunderstanding.... I meant that blog about the date and atty fees about the child care money that BM is supposed to return to DH "when she gets her check". You know - the famous - "The check is in the mail"! I wasn't sure about that - how much she owed, and if she is really going to give it to DH so I just wanted you guys to protect even getting that. As far as the tax deductions, I think what you have written is fine. It's the actual money owed, that I thought I read in your first blog, that I was trying to get protected.
The first year DH had
The first year DH had custody of step-demon (sd14), the judge specifically said he would be claiming her on his taxes that year, since he had her the better part of the year.
Guess who claimed step-demon as a dependant that year on her taxes?? Oh yeah. The IRS sent a letter to DH and he gave them copies of all of the documents and let them know they needed to contact UberSkank.
UberSkank has been on bench probation numberous times for violating court orders and supplemental judgements. And god forbid she follow a custody order or parenting plan.
Then again....this is the same woman who remarried biodad of kid #3, and he was court ordered not to be within 100 yards of of kid #1 (step-demon) or kid #2 (not my skid, she has a different biodad than #1 & #3). How can you be married to someone, yet keep him away from two of your three children at all times?
UberSkank is a little dry roasted nut.
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine