My BS has an attachment to me. If it were left to him he would sleep in my bed and FH be on the couch, lol. But its up to me to establish those boundaries.
I have always been adamant that I not cosleep with him once he reached a certain age. And I stick to it, though I may feel bad.
It does sounds like what is going on here is unhealthy. Perhaps BM is leaning too much on SS for comfort/company? We as the adults have to be the ones to explain to the child the difference between love between parent/child and love between partners.

He's going to marry his mom and have babies with her? And this is normal for a kid to think? Wha, huh, where have I been? My son has always told me I'm pretty, etc......but now when I go to his school and his friends say "wow, that's your mom?" he punches them! LOL!

I would have been uber creeped out if he ever said he was going to marry me, muchless have babies with me. I think he would have been in the ER getting a head ex ray. That's gross.......on so many levels that doesn't seem normal to me.

Ewwwwww.

Okay, now if I can get past that........nope, not working.......ewwwwwww.

I am going throught this and my ss is 9. He doesn't sleep with his mother that we know of but I do know they still cuddle. He is totally obssessed with her. My husband has sole custody and BM only comes around at her convenience. My ss will sit in his room and stare at pictures of her until we cut him off, if we let him do it hours upon hours, he would. It is very unhealthy. We are putting him back in counseling now that we have insurance. DH is also looking into supervised visitation, not because of this, but this and a few other things. My ss's bm has also told my ss that all she does is cry when he's gone (which messes with their heads tremendously) and goodness knows what else these bm's are telling thier kids. I know my DH's custody agreement says he has all custody rights and she has none and that he can let ss visit as DH sees fit. Your husband could cut off visitation if its in his agreement.

wow. what can you do about this situation?
my sd10 still sleeps in the same bed with her mother also. she now can't sleep alone and my 6 yr. old daughter has to sleep with her so that she won't be scared. one time she saw the movie "scary movie" which is a parody of scary movies and was fine alllll day then as soon as i closed my door to go to sleep she comes knocking crying like a 4 yr. old that she is scared. i do not baby my kids for bs like that. so it just annoys me when she does things like that.
what can we do?
i don't think any child sleeping with their parent is healthy. i mean i sleep with my 1 yr. old sometimes but that's because we haven't had good heat in my home. other than that she is in her crib all night.

one could only hope and pray that the best interest of the child is actually met for once. i know it's rare.
i don't think that a mother that plays mind games with their child should be left alone with the child.

A lot of kids do a 180 turn when their "coddle" parent is around. We see this behavior everyday in our office. A kid will be totally fine one minute then when he/she sees mom when we're all done they start bawling about nothing...then what does mommy do?? "AWWWWWWW...MOMMY'S POOR POOR BABYWABY!!!!" Then the kid cries harder. Amazing.

That's just the way some kids are with everything...bed wetting,nightmares,cosleeping,etc...That is the fault of a parent not pushing their child to act independently.

My son is 7 and I can tell you our bond runs very deep but he has NEVER done the whole, "I wanna marry you mommy..." thing EVER. He has told me I'm the prettiest and the best but never said he wants to marry me. So from my perspective, your SS is behaving a little odd for my liking. And why the heck aren't the kids sleeping in their own rooms at moms? Does she have dependency issues or issues with abandonment maybe that she feels she can't let kids out of her sight? Is she afraid to be alone?? Weird and probably not healthy for the kids.

~The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.~
Oscar Wilde

I completely understand and i'm honestly a little relieved to hear i'm not the only one with this issue.

My SS-7 and SS-3 both routinely end up in bed with their bm when they are with her. With the 3 year old it is awful, because the first night when he comes back to us he is exhausted (she doesn't put him to bed early enough), and he screams in bed for mommy which breaks my heart, because mommy just comes and swoops him up into her bed. Where as we make him stay in bed so he can get a good night sleep. Then recently I learned the 7year old boy was doing it as well because his covers fall of his top bunk (because bm has been to lazy to put on the side rails - don't even get me started on that), so he goes to mom's bed.

The frustrating thing is every week during the pass off, the first day is hell with them, we have to undo the damage she has done with her babying them, and her neglectful attitude towards their mis-behavior. However, after the first night it always gets easier. The best thing you can do for them is be consistant. It might be hard in the transition, but ultimately they will appreciate your consistancy and promoting healthy behavior even if they hate it at the time.

Wow! That is really unhealthy for the children in my opinion. My son would automatically wake up around 2:30 and try to come get in bed with me, but it was just me and him from the time he was a baby up until he was almost 9. He never said he wanted to marry me or have my babies though. That is a little over the top and I would have my child in a child psychologist's office asap to find out what is going on. Before he was 8 he knew that he wasn't going to be able to get in my bed anymore. (8 was just the age I picked being BS was getting older). BS was fine with it, and normally I would carry him back to his bed when he ended up in mine. He had himself in a routine and sometimes wasn't even awake but walked somehow. BS and I have a great relationship even though he is a mouthy teenager now that needs to be put in check sometimes, but like I said he has never said he wanted to marry me or have my babies. That doesn't seem normal.

MY ss used to do this all the time, we tried multiple ways to keep him asleep and night so he wouldn't sneak in with us. we eventually tried sound therapy, this helped him to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night. they sell those little boxes at Sharper Image or you can download audio files from prescription audio. but this helped keep him asleep through the night. occasionally he still wakes up and comes in, but now it is less frequent.