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DH and SS move 1800 miles away...without me or BS

peppermint's picture

Submitted by peppermint on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 8:14am

My DH and SS moved from PA to Montana 'cuz DH got great job in mining industry. Took SS (age 22) because he's a coalminer, too, but doesn't have a valid license due to varied abuses of driving privileges (DUI's, driving w/suspended license....). DH felt guilty leaving SS behind because he wouldn't have any way to get to work :sick:

SS recently spent 30 days in rehab due to Oxycontin addiction and was going to meetings, trying to find a sponsor, etc. until DH decided they both needed to take advantage of Montana opportunity, leaving my BS (15) and me back in PA to fend for ourselves (sell house, which needs oodles of repairs) etc.

Needless to say I'm am enraged. I don't want to sell my house and move out to Montana where SS, a drug addict, thief, and liar, resides now with DH. We have no family out there, my DH is currently working 13 hour days, and SS's BM is happily pursuing an alcohol ridden life w/o him. Help!!!

Comments

WowjustWow's picture

Submitted by WowjustWow on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 8:30am

This is an awful situation for you.

Is this new job a permanent thing? Or can you just stay put until BS is done with school? As for the SS, I don't blame you for not wanting to live with him. He sounds like he has some (still unresolved) issues.

I hope you can find a compromise in this. Best of luck.

peppermint's picture

Submitted by peppermint on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 2:12pm

Thanks for caring! Yes, the new job is permanent (unfortunately). It kills me that my SS gets to see my husband every day while my BS and I will be lucky to see him every 4-6 weeks. This is the fourth time my husband has had to get SS a job. I'm filled with such anger that it's really beginning to feel unhealthy. I feel like telling DH and SS to shove their new jobs up their behinds; my BS and I will just live our own lives. Sad

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 7:38pm

That sounds like a terrible job to me, for DH - and I don't blame you for not wanting to move there! What if you don't want to? You are in this marriage too!! and SS, no way no how.

_________________________________________________________
Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.

William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2

arjuna79's picture

Submitted by arjuna79 on Thu, 08/20/2009 - 6:28pm

I just came back from 2 yrs of a Montana adventure like this - broke and broken. There is the immediate drama of a bicoastal arrangement. There is the underground reality of a huge culture shock, east coast to MT. Much as you miss your husband, I would not rush to this distraction. Make him show you this works. Feel the small (-minded) mining town he landed in. Feel if it works for you (those small MT towns can be very, very rigid). What is it about Montana that attracts those wild running-away dreams? Good luck to you!