What the Weasel wants.
She wrote a long (two page) letter to DH covering a number of issues. Most of them truly laughable or insane. I finally have DH "trained" to stop getting mad at her crazy antics. In the middle of his rage a couple weeks ago, I quietly asked, "Why do you expect so much of her? You expect her to be normal or rational. Has she ever been?" It was a breakthrough for him. I reminded him that no one expects a drunk person, or a mentally ill person to be rational...similarly we know The Weasel is never rational, so stop getting mad when she's not. He uses it like a mantra now.
Anyway, after all the crazy nonsense in her letter she asked him to communicate via email w/ her. I told him this may be a good idea. It would allow him time to think and proofread their communication, and it would be a written record.
Does this type of communication work for others?
- TheCharm's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
myspace
My FH ex-wife wrote me a three page letter OVER MYSPACE doing nothing but bitching and ranting at me, its a great idea incase things get out of hand which they started to at one point so I told her one more email and i will put a harrasment order against her, well that shut her up quickly enough. so yes it is a good idea but no because you can get more hashed out in person
I would be careful of e-mail
Putting stuff in writing is dangerous. Limit it to "I'm dropping the kids of on Saturday." Tell him to never e-mail if he is angry.
But it is good if she sends you angry rants. BM did this and we used one of them in court against her. I would save it all in a file.
"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"
I agree with Abigail.
Email is great if you can trust yourself not to go on rants -- but if the BM tends to go off in rages and say lots of objectionable stuff. We only communicate with ours via email because we need the record of what was said, and also because BM tries to talk to my DH in the phone or in person so she can try to bully him. She's such a volatile, mean person that it works somewhat when she goes ballistic on him, so in order to be in control of the situation, we do not ever let her discuss anything important over the phone or in person.
BB
- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)
Yes and No
I do agree with the others to be very careful what is emailed, BF and I both read any email that is being sent from our end to make sure we both agree with what is being said.
But at the same time changing to email only communication with BM has really helped the overall situation. BM would call or text BF all the time...sometimes legitimate things to do with SD5 "Scooty" and sometimes just random non-kiddo related stuff (like movies or music). I let BF know I totally understand needing to communicate for Scooty related stuff, but that him talking to BM about movies, etc really hurt me. And it was finally getting to the point that anytime his phone would go off, i'd physically cringe. BF agreed to opening a joint email acct with me for communication to BM (he gave me access to all his private ones if i wanted to "check"). But luckily BM has been a respectful adult for once and has only contacted us thru our joint email. So it can be a good thing, just be careful!
"Live well, Love much, Laugh often."
works great for scheduling
Like you said, that way there is always a written record. I think it helps too that you have to think about what's being said long enough to write it.
works great for scheduling
Like you said, that way there is always a written record. I think it helps too that you have to think about what's being said long enough to write it.