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What I love about being a stepmom.

Snarky's picture

Submitted by Snarky on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:29pm

After reading a post challenging readers to think positive, I decided to do a little investigating on what I like/love most about being a stepmom; hence, I invite all of you to mention ten things that make you happy about your stepmom situation. Some days, thinking this way is impossible; however, today is a day that positivity has entered my mind (for once) and shone a ray of light on the happy times as a stepmom.
My most favorite part of being a stepmom:
1. To hear my two SD's laugh and giggle
2. Getting hugs for no reason, and maybe a peck on the cheek.
3. Feeling a little hand slip into mine when we are walking.
4. Seeing the girls use life lessons I have taught.
5. Watching movies with my beautiful family
6. Teaching them new recipes
7. Picking them up and dropping them off for camp/friends houses/etc.
8. Hearing my SD 7 singing in the shower (and she can't hold a tune in a bucket!).
9. Watching plays put on my SD's and their friends
10. Wiping tears away and making that boo-boo all better.

There are tons more of course; as for now, I would like to see what others love about being a stepmom.

Comments

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:40pm

1. Them. Period.
2. All the hugs they give me
3. They tell me stuff that they don't tell BM because she won't give them the time of day.
4. Seeing how close they are with their Dad.
5. Seeing their Dad love them.
6. Having the chance to show them what a stable marriage and living environment is like.
7. Watching chick flicks with them. Bring on Miss Congeniality!
8. Seeing them remind their Dad of special holidays. They'll get me stuff, and remind DH to get me stuff too. They even help him pick it out! Smile
9. Liking the same music that they do. They like Beatles, the Byrds, Stones, Eagles, and Fleetwood Mac, just like their Dad and myself Smile
10. Being able to rest peacefully at night, knowing I'm doing the best I can for them and knowing that they're in safe hands. Even when they're supposed to go to BM's, she pawns them off to her parents, who take great care of them. So knowing that they're safe at all times is very nice!

Birdlady's picture

Submitted by Birdlady on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:48pm

Those are really nice lists!

Casper3's picture

Submitted by Casper3 on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 2:17pm

1. SS's using phrases or ideas that came from me
2. when we all are really like a family and there is no "steps" involved. I'm just mommy and they are just sons.
3. Seeing DH teach his sons how to work with tools (Tooltime anyone Smile )
4. I love it when they are so excited to see me and tell me about their day that they talk over one another trying to get it all out.
5. I love it that I have taught them to ask about my day before asking "What's for supper?"
6. I love the arts and crafts that they make in school and bring to me because I am their mommy too.
7. I love watching my BD2 run around after her big brothers, trying to be a big kid and they slow down to include her.
8. I love goodnight hugs and kisses. I get 3 sets.
9. I love it when they try so hard to please me. Who cares if they get the job done right?
10. I love seeing us all together in family photos. If only all of our lives would be that serene and peaceful as those pictures show.

Sherw's picture

Submitted by Sherw on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 3:00pm

You all sound too coochie coo and like everything is coming up roses. I think it's different when you start out with steps who don't give you a chance and are already molded by their not so nice and manipulative BM.

***We're too blessed to be stressed!***

Snarky's picture

Submitted by Snarky on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 3:21pm

because not everything is coming up roses in many of our worlds, but sometimes it's nice to try and think positive. I, in fact, started out with steps who didn't like me and were negative and nasty. BM was and still is a psychotic, manipulative felon BUT as time went by, and I stood my ground, and the younger kids now are seeing me for who I am (and not who their mother says). The oldest SD hates me, and believes everything her mom has said. She also refuses to come over for visitations (fine with me!). So, instead of concentrating on her negativeness, my efforts are spent giving the other two the love and attention they don't get at their BM's house.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Sherw's picture

Submitted by Sherw on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 3:27pm

You have the opportunity to be a good sm to more than one child. When you only have one chance with one kid and it doesn't work out, then what do you do? I'm SOL at step parenting. For me, the only positive is I have 2 more years and maybe he'll go far far away to college

I dearly love his dog...does that count?

***We're too blessed to be stressed!***

Snarky's picture

Submitted by Snarky on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 3:34pm

Teenagers are monsters, step or bio. I'm waiting for the day when the younger ones become walking hormones and raging lunatics (biting fingernails). Believe me, some of your teachings will seep into SS's life, and when he realizes it came from you, ahhhhhhh.....sweet serenity. LOL.

BTW, I don't know how lucky I am; BM lives two minutes away and is a white-trash nut job.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Sherw's picture

Submitted by Sherw on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 4:10pm

I'd love to see the day when I can say (under my breath) I told you so Wink !

His BM also lives walking distance, so if he doesn't like dinner, he goes somewhere else. Problem is, there's no set time schedule and he can come walking in at any moment. You've got time to prepare for that since they're young and set boundaries with BM living so close.

***We're too blessed to be stressed!***

Sherw's picture

Submitted by Sherw on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 4:19pm

I'm in your ballpark. I was never a kid person nor wanted any. Give me 100 rowdy dogs to take care of - no problem. One kid, I could break out in hives Smile

I envy the other ladies on here that have a warm & fuzzy feeling with their skids at least some of the time.

DPW, I'm afraid we're in the minority on ST. But I am still willing to learn from these wise folks on this site what it can mean to open up my heart and MAYBE feel some compassion for my SS16. An open mind might actually lead to an open heart .

***We're too blessed to be stressed!***

Snarky's picture

Submitted by Snarky on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 3:24pm

Oh I so love number ten on your list, that is one of my most favorite moments too! I also love it when SD 10 comes into our room, walks to my side of the bed first (farthest away), and gives me hugs before DH. If I were to add more, I'd say that a prize moment was when SD 10 made me a Mother's Day letter about how much she loved having me as her Stepmom (tears welling). THAT went on the frige for AGES!!!

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Submitted by Wicked.Step.Monster on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 3:19pm

One of the things I love the very most is taking the kids out for "vacations". LOL! I really love being with them the first time they try something... like the first time they saw and swam in the ocean, the first time they rode a BIG rollercoaster, the first time they bungee'd... (yes.. yikes I let them!!).

BM thinks we do this stuff just to look good, but that's so not true, we live this way... going to the movies, to the lake, vacations, amusement parks, out to eat, etc... we are LIVING and BM HATES us for it. It's sad too.. she has no idea what she's missing... seeing the excitement light up on the girls' faces when they do something new.

I love having the girls in my life, and I dearly love the girls, even in the worst of times. However, the entire role of being step-mom? If offered to me again, I'd impolitely decline! LOL

BorBor's picture

Submitted by BorBor on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 5:09pm

Not necessarily in this order but lets see:
1. I go to my ss school and he introduces me to his friends'"this is my stepmom" with a sense of pride and a smile
2.he catches a fish in the yard and starts calling for me to see it.
3. we drive home together alone and he laughs at my dumb jokes.
4.my bio kids and ss laugh and play and play pranks on me.
5.I see his father in his face or actions
6. I like when he asks me to make something special for him to eat.
7. when he gives me a half hug, in front of his friends when I see him (hes 14, gotta be cool)
8 when he asks me to play chess with him
9 imitates me in a funny way, and trys to copy the way I talk.
10 When we are all out together as a family, thier are no step anything.

Thanks Wicked SM that was fun and very enlightening for me

Snarky's picture

Submitted by Snarky on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 7:14pm

Thank you to those of you who took this blog for what it is, just a glimmer of positiveness in an ever negative world. I am constantly feeling down about my situation and decided to look at it from another perspective, that's what this was about. It disturbs me to read other posts, on this same idea, presented negatively.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 8:01pm

I read those lists and just smiled and "ooohhhed" and "ahhhhed" and just felt happy. And peaceful. I think that children can bring great joy to an adult's life. Because we get so caught up in the day to day - bills that need to be paid, and dinners that need to made, and everything else.

I think, in a lot of these... the stepkids are somewhat making us see the world, ourselves, and our spouses again, you know? We get to experience new "thrills" as they do. And we get to see in real time - our effect on the next generation and those to come. Those words, those sayings, the ways that we parent that they "get" ... that's going to be passed down!!

I don't care if anyone reads this and goes "blah" or "bah humbug" or whatever. It's their problem. Let's enjoy our families while we can!

Thank you Wicked SM!!