My guilt ridden sense of duty has been shelved for the time being. Those around me have taken notice, especially my sons who have enjoyed my undivided attention that is usual focused in numerous directions. I've angered my blended family though as I've stomped my own feet a little bit and refused to be my usual go-to girl self.

My stepdaughters have missed out on a couple of sporting events and sleepovers because of it.

I've visited with old friends, taken day long bike rides and chatted on the phone as I prepared dinner for seven. I still take the girls every morning to their Grandma's house so they don't have to wake up at 5:00am when their dad would drop them off. (Hope your catching my sly way of saying that I haven't gone completely AWOL)

BM was in a bit of a SuperMom/DH-is-the-greatest-thing-EVER cycle but that seems to have faded. She was very "active" in every aspect of the girls' lives and had even volunteered to be the self titled "team mom" for SD5's teeball team (and that DH coaches). Amazingly she has not followed thru ... whatsoever. DH has now taken on the role along with his usual coaching tasks. BM has also decided to join a bowling league on Tuesday nights which has disallowed her from attending any of SD10 and SD5's softball/teeball games that fall on the same night. The younger girls seem to care very little about this change in commitment and devotion, maybe their give-a-damn is busted as well.

SD12 confided in me two nights ago that she doesn't understand why BM even goes to her games, all she does is talk to other moms and yell at the other kids. I simply asked her why does SHE go to the games? To which she responded with that she goes to play softball. So I encouraged her to focus on that rather than the going ons in the cheering section.

I care less and less with every passing day. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. I really don't.

BM called last night and I listened to DH give her a guilt trip about not being at the games. Seems to me she's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. Everyone complains about her (including the other moms) but then when she takes the hint and grants her absence, she gets labeled a bad mom. I think she should do whatever the hell she wants to do because nobody is ever going to hold her to any sort of standard anyways. When she feels like being SuperMom, let her. When she doesn't, that's fine too. I listened to him complain about all that she is, but yet he has enabled her to be. He complained how nobody seems to care anymore, so why even bother?

Now there's a question worth asking.