Flip side of my last blog- how would the skids react to your untimely death?

Another morbid thing I think about.

#1- I have a HUGE fear of dying early and leaving my BS behind While he does have a dad- BS would be taken away from everything he has ever known. My Ex lives 45 minutes away. BS would be taken away from his school, friends, neighbors, sports family, etc. Not to mention that Ex has no car, no liscence, owes every kind of bill that you can think of (rental, utilities, student loans, IRS, credit card bills), has a warrant for his arrest. Basically my BS's stable environment would be choatic. I worry about this a lot. Ex is a weekend dad. He couldnt handle much more.

#2- I have another fear of the skids coming into my house (under the impression of comforting DH) and stealing my stuff. I can see them just helping themselves to my jewerly and clothes and make up, etc All stuff that I would want to go to my sister and nieces.

#3- They would for sure be happy about my death as I would now be out of their dadddddyyyy's life and they can go back to "normal".

#4- I think they would go to my funeral however and act sad and upset to get attention. I know otherwise.

#5- It wouldnt be long until they would move into my house. Ugh I hate this thought. One of my friends promised to burn it down for me, so that wouldnt happen. LOL. They would finally get to be the "woman of the house". (The house is in my name, bought before DH and I got married, but bought knowing we were moving in together)

I'm pretty confident that my sister would come in and take over and make sure that the skids did not get their hands on my personal belongings, as I have expressed this issue with her.

(lots of overthinking lately)

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I think SD would be

I think SD would be deevastated if I died.

Unfortunately though I love her, I want all of my inheritance to go to my BS. If she is older, I think that would hurt her. However, she has a mom & dad to leave her whatever they can.

**sound of champagne corks

**sound of champagne corks popping**

I mean "diet coke"

I think about this all the

I think about this all the time too.

I worry about what would happen to my DD. My husband would be a single father to her and he'd still be dealing with all the bullshit from BM.

I worry that my life insurance proceeds and pension could somehow end up factoring into what DH owes BM for CS. I also worry he would allocate some of it to SD and I wouldn't be okay with that. She would still have two living parents who can take care of her.

So I recently changed my beneficiary for both my pension and life insurance to be my sister. I talked to her about it and I know I can trust her to be responsible and save the money for DD. Maybe I'm a bad wife but I didn't tell my husband I did this. He'd try to reassure me that BM wouldn't be able to get her greedy hands on it. We've underestimated things about the legal system and BM before, and I'm not taking any chances when it comes to DD's future.

I don't think SD would be that sad if I died. If you'd asked me this a year or two ago I think she would have been.

DH and I have this covered.

DH and I have this covered. I have 2 life insurance policies. One for DH for 200,000 and one for our new addition, for 700,000. The second life insurance policy will go into a trust for our daughter at the event of my death, DH will receive a yearly siphon in order to take care of her, there will be an amount earmarked for for college and the rest to go to her at her 25 birthday (if there's anything left, I looked at what universities are supposed to run in twenty years...yikes). This way, I make sure to HELP DH pay off the debt that I would help pay for but my attorney assured me that BM wouldn't be able to touch it, because it will belong to DD. I will likely earmark a smaller amount for SD, to be given to her on her 25th in order to help launch her as well.

Good plan. I know my husband

Good plan.

I know my husband will be fine financially, which is why I'm okay with what I did. He doesn't need money from me to help pay for anything. I also trust my sister's judgment to use my money to help him out if he needs it for some reason.

I know my DH would go back to

I know my DH would go back to how things were before I came along. I give it 1 week before all the skids are moved in to the house.

SS15 would feel however his

SS15 would feel however his BM tells him to feel, like he does now and always has. So, he'd feel elated.

SD would cry hysterically to

SD would cry hysterically to make it all about her. Doesn't give two shits about me now. She will not be in my will. All my assets are being left to my nieces after DH kicks it.

Why don't you write a will

Why don't you write a will leaving your home and posessions all to your son and name your sister or a friend that you can trust to move in and raise your son? Just because your ex is his father does not necessarily mean he will get custody if you die. If you name someone else then a judge would have to decide. Your ex might not even WANT full custody.

I left the home to DH because

I left the home to DH because he does pay for half and has put a lot of sweat equity into it. I also have an insurance policy for him to pay off the house.

I was going to leave the house to my sister, but I didnt think that was very nice once DH and I got married. The only reason I didnt want to leave it to DH was because of the skids.

I do have funds left to my sister to raise/for my BS. She has said she would fight for BS if I wanted her too. However she has her own stress and kids, etc. Even my mom was like- uuhhh would you really want sis raising BS? LOL. She is a great mom, but has a kid same age as my BS and there is lots of competition between the 2, etc.

My Ex would want custody and his mom would fight to make sure he did. She has money. However, I know they wouldnt raise him right and it would really mess him up.

I may have to look into updating my will. I guess I didnt know I could put in there that my sister is to get BS if he still had another parent around. I have full custody of my BS right now, if that makes any difference.....

DH has said he would keep BS and live in the house and raise him. I'm like----uuhhhhh I have seen how your kids have turned out. Ideally I would love this idea. BS would be able to stay in his home. Visitations with his dad and my sister, etc But DH is hard to work with and he's set in his ways. This would be just as bad as him living with his dad.

DH and I just had this

DH and I just had this discussion the other week. I said, "Your kids wouldn't get upset if I died." He responded, "Hell, they probably won't get upset when *I* die!"

Surprisingly enough, SD got in touch with him about a week later after over a year of not seeing or talking to her or the grandskids.

My husband will get my house,

My husband will get my house, my life insurance policy, my 401K, and any other assets I may have. I guess I didn't think that one all the way through when I was signing the papers. That kind of means the skids will get them too.

They would not act happy about my death. Act being the key word. The girl would be ecstatic and the boy would probably be sad for his dad. Sometimes he acts like he likes me so you never know. Some people like to rewrite history about the recently deceased. He may actually have fonder memories of me when I'm dead.

I really didn't think about the consequences of leaving everything to DH. I really don't care if he takes care of his kids in my home when I'm dead but I have a problem envisioning him giving part of his inheritance to BM (I think this gets counted as income for CS in our state). It wouldn't be a lot, but still, I don't want anything of mine going to her.

I really need to reconsider all of this. Maybe not let him have anything except use of the house until he's done paying CS to that worthless BM?

Sometimes, I think it would be okay if she moved in, as I know he would be lonely without me.