Long story short, we have been going through a CS battle since April/May-ish -I can't even really remember at this point.  We live in Mexico so obviously laws are different, but the gist of it is that BM (who lives with her husband and SS11 in a small town about 5 hrs from DH and I) managed to get CS increased WITHOUT any say from DH.  The server "notified" DH through our previous lawyer (who filed CS and custody for us SEVEN years ago in the same courthouse) and now we're just pretty much going in circles trying to undo what's already been done.  DH's lawyer just keeps saying "don't worry about it" and that there is no way it's legal for DH to have been notified through him and this is reversible blah blah, but all I see is him submitting paperwork and the judge standing by her decision to increase CS.  I get that what the judge did was wrong, and I get that legally we may be in the right, but to be honest this is Mexico and corruption here is INSANE and I'm really not surprised that things have gone down the way the did.  Even before this all started, when BM started threatening DH with going back to court, we were warned that the only judge in this small town who handled family cases was not only pro BMs but very against fathers and that we were pretty much starting out with a disadvantage.  Personally, I think DH should have just tried to settle with BM in the first place, but I can't do anything about that now.

Anyway, things have gotten really bad, to the point where we haven't seen or spoken to SS in over 2 months.  When we have gone to see him, BM and GBM dodge DH's calls or take SS out of town.  BM and GBM always say he is out or busy when DH calls, and when he is there, BM apparently makes a big show of asking SS to talk to his father and SS always says no and to leave him alone.  This weekend DH spoke to him through text messages on BM's phone (may not have have even been SS, who knows?) and he basically said he didn't want to talk to DH because he isn't giving BM the increased CS.  Before DH could reply, he gets another message that says something along the lines of, "this is BM, I see what SS was texting you, I already told him that he shouldn't ignore you just because you aren't giving me the money I need and that it's on me to make ends meet if you don't want to give me money for SS."  DH is pissed and screenshots the convos (we already requested a court ordered psychologist see SS because of PAS, but are STILL waiting for the judge to reply) and basically calls her out for bringing SS into their issues.  She says SS is getting older and he hears things and asks questions and she can't lie to him.  

So here is the thing, this increase paperwork, that was already approved by the judge, is written in a way that pretty much says that everytime minimum wage goes up, we need to increase CS accordingly unless we can prove DH's wage hasn't increased (it NEVER has).  For example, last year minimum wage increased by 10%, so we should have increased CS by 10% unless DH can show that his wage didn't increase by 10%.  She is also asking for back pay for the last seven years because apparently we should have been increasing CS every time minimum wage went up.  In all honesty, DH can probably pay the increased CS (with my help) but there is NO WAY we can give her the back pay she is asking for.  I am at a loss.  I feel like his family thinks we should just give in (they live in the same town as BM and since this started, they haven't been able to see/speak to SS either).  I don't know what to do.  Maybe we should be the bigger person and just give her the increased CS, but if minimum wage increases again is she going to drag us through this again? Is this setting a bad precedent?  Believe me, I DO NOT WANT TO GIVE IN TO BM ON THIS.  I don't want to give in to her on anything really.  But we have already spent so much on the lawyer, I don't see things getting better, and SHE is not going to leave SS out of this and if we have the means to keep him out of it, at least for now, shouldn't we?  I don't know what to do, and I know ultimately, this is DH's decision, but I still keep going through this in my mind.  If we can just be the bigger person and ensure that SS is kept out of it, shouldn't we?  But then I think, we might just be in this same situation a year from now and what if at that point we DON'T have the means to get out of it, what are we going to do then?  Should we just worry about that if/when the time comes.  

I'm sure I'm rambling and if you made it this far, thank you and any advice would be greatly appreciated.