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Plans?

Young_one's picture

Submitted by Young_one on Wed, 11/25/2015 - 11:43pm

SO has custody of SD (11) tonight until tomorrow @ 5pm when BM has her "period of responsibility" in which SD is to be picked up at OUR residence. Being a blended family we did dinner with my in-laws this evening (unfortunately SD was with BM although that's what the in-laws decided to do for turkey day so..) and will do lunch with my mother tomorrow.
Plan was: wake up, drive up north (35 minutes), do lunch, come back home to have SD picked up by BM (as she should.) (And so we're not stuck at my mother's house all day..)

Picked up SD for our visitation and come to find out BM's family is going to be in the same town my mother is in....
So in order to "save his daughter from driving everywhere" SO wants to stay ALL DAY at my mothers house and then drive to BM'S mom's house to drop off SD. Not have BM meet at my mother's house, us drive TO HER.
It's her period of responsibility! I don't want to change our plans for the day to accommodate pretentious stuck up rude manipulative BM!! I'm all for not putting more strain on SD since holiday's are hard as it is BUT *LEGALLY* we're SUPPOSED to come home and BM is SUPPOSED to pick her up!

I don't understand why SO is so willing to *VIOLATE* the *LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT* (parenting plan) they signed four years ago! Things haven't changed these past four years why should they change *NOW*????
Shouldn't *OUR* """""family's""""" plan come *BEFORE* what's convenient for the EX??????????!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

Comments

Young_one's picture

Submitted by Young_one on Thu, 11/26/2015 - 12:05am

I agree, I thought the same thing at first..

(I did mention that fact..)

it was decided and explained to me that in order to eliminate the fighting with the BM and to make it easier for her we would be driving to her mother's house and then to ours.

I'm more upset that this decision about "our" family's plans, was made 1. without me and 2. for the convenience of the ex.....

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Thu, 11/26/2015 - 1:10am

Sometimes, you just have to let it go. This is one of those times. Don't let the court order rule you and how you handle things.

thisisnotmocking's picture

Submitted by thisisnotmocking on Thu, 11/26/2015 - 5:06am

So, drop SD at grandma's house when you leave your mom's house. Doesn't have to be 5, right?

Maybe I missed something, but I'm not seeing the problem?

Cocoa's picture

Submitted by Cocoa on Thu, 11/26/2015 - 6:35am

In a high conflict coparenting situation its best to follow court orders. It saved my marriage. Only now 8 years later is my dh and bm able to work outside it. And that is a very rare occasion. His ex is crazy

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 11/26/2015 - 8:32am

If mom, dad and kid are all in town A, it makes no sense for them to drive to town B, do the exchange then mom and kid drive back to town A.

There's no reason at all why the exchange can't be done in town A since everyone involved will already be there.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Thu, 11/26/2015 - 9:02am

I understand why you want him to drive her back and BM has to come all the way back as well to pick up the child. Sort of like a "Take THAT BM!" moment.

However in this situation just drop her off at the BMs relatives place. Then drive home together knowing you don't have to see BM for xx hours.

Just record this date as a time you accommodated BM. She will forget and may try to manipulate you guys later. At that stage DH can say "Hang on. On Thanksgiving I dropped DD off at your mothers instead of driving back to our place with her and making you break away from for family for an hour to drive to my place and back again. Remember? I could have been nasty and made you drive it. But I didn't. So try thinking about that and get back to me."