Drop offs
BM always drops off to me on Thursday nights. It's been this way since my fiancee has been working. So, why does she insist on never contacting me when shes gonna come.
She'll call my fiancee while hes at work or he'll have to call her to ask when she'll be going. Then he tells me. Usually within 2 hours she'll text me saying she's about to leave or has left. Then she shows up 2 hours later. This was so bad, I didnt plan anything where Id have to leave the house because I never knew when she would actually show up.
As of mid January, I started school. She knows Im in college and dont get home til later on Thursdays. So when I call my fiancee and ask when'd she say she was dropping off, he says "5 to 6". Well, I inform him, I wont be home til close to 6 (it was around 520-530 at this point). So he says he'll text her and tell her. It's now 7 and I'm still waiting.
Ive been trying to convince my fiancee that we need at least a three hour span for drop offs. So this way there's NO confusion and we're not subjegated to her ridiculousness.
Anyone else deal with this issue for dropoffs?
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Yeah, I dealt with it with
Yeah, I dealt with it with BM2. Unfortunately it didn't go well. I was letting her pick up SD8 at the house on Friday nights. She was supposed to be here at 5. She got into the habit of calling after 5 to say she hadn't left yet, and she lives over an hour away. I asked her several times to make plans a day in advance if she couldn't pick up at 5 because I have other children and plans Friday night. She ignored me. She has no regard for anyones schedule but hers.
The end result was that I sent her written notice that she would no longer be allowed to exchange at the house. We have an alternate location for meetup, and it will be done at the court appointed time. I get there with kiddo, and she has half an hour to show up for pickup or I take kiddo home. If she can't make it, she can call for other arrangements. Other arrangements means something that works for both parties, not her showing up in my driveway when she jolly feels like it. I she can't pick up by 5, she is welcome to wait until we get done with our Friday night activity and pick up at the meet location then.
One thing that the judge in our case said he recommends is that the parent whose time is beginning do the pickup. That way there's not an issue of waiting around for the other parent for your time to begin. You pickup when it's your time. She picks up when she gets kiddo back. Tends to go smoother and prevents "I went to drop kid off but e wasn't there so I denied visitation".
The custody is 50/50 and
The custody is 50/50 and originally it was pickup to start visitation. Hes supposed to pick up thurs mornings and shes supposed to pick up sun afternoons...since he works though- they switched it that she drops off thursday usually eveningtime and he drops off sunday night.
She sometimes calls Sunday afternoon asking if he can drop SS off earlier and continued to say she didnt drop SS off earlier because it wouldnt have made a difference since hes at work. He told her it wouldve made a difference because SS can play with his biological sister.
At this point, I've given up on it. Now that I'm busy with class until 6 on drop off day, she can remember on her own or he can remind her that I wont be here. Shes gotta wait, her fault. Though she might take SS to MIL (15 mins from her place) if she cant get ahold of someone [she did this once when i was napping sick], but I can always make sure I've got my phone on those days.
Tomorrows drop off day and the weather here is supposed to get worse as it gets later- lets see when shell drop off...?
Instead of bringing SS4 here,
Instead of bringing SS4 here, shes made a regular habit of dropping off to MIL instead (she has off every other Friday).