Me and my fiancee somewhat recently moved to a new apartment. The place is easily twice the size of our old place. Which is great! When we moved, we had a small discussion about not allowing BM in. I felt very strongly about this, as I am not on friendly terms with BM. In fact, she's asked my fiancee to go out with her on a friday night to "hang out" and asked him to have a small dinner with her and son for son's 4th birthday.
My hatred for her entering our living area however also has roots in other instances. At our old apartment, after our daughter was born (when I was still on good terms with her), she asked to hold her. Not wanting to start our relationship off wrongly, I felt comfortable with it, so I allowed it. What I didnt realize was she would try to walk right into my kitchen (at the rear of the apartment) a following dropoff. I literally grabbed the bag and the kid in lightening fast succession. In addition to her claim on my domain, she has also greeted me holding my own daughter when she was 5 months and has continued to pick up my daughter when I'm not around [though thats a seperate issue].
Regardless, I say all that to tell you my personal background for why I feel uncomfortable having her in my home. As if the whole "she's your ex" isnt enough. Anyways, while my fiancee still doesn't understand how I view my home as my only sanctity of her habitual line-crossing, he had agreed to my conditions. As I did cite, there really was no reason for her to come to our front door, as there are 3 landings and a couple half stairways up to the landing with our individual apartment door.
Needless to say, last Thursday while fiancee was staying home with our sick daughter, I was informed when I got home that BM was in the apartment.
I was livid. While we still haven't really talked about the issue, mostly due to him not seeing it as an issue, I'm not sure how to try to approach it. He stated once that he feels like everyones trying to control him and its his home too, but I feel like he's forgetting my feelings in the matter and the fact its our shared space and once hes tainted it with BM-itll never be the same.
I feel I should also mention, BM is best friends with his sister who still lives with their mom. So at his mother's house, BM usually walks in like she resides there or at least walks unaccompanied throughout the house between sister's bedroom and first floor. I really don't want to give this impression either!