I should have known...
I was holding my breath because DH started backtracking on his claims of disciplining the skids when the report cards came out. We have known for a couple weeks that both SD and SS were going to have some F's on their report cards, so we have been talking about it. I heard him talking to them about the grades and how things were "gonna change around here". I specifically heard mention of cell phone privileges and video gaming mentioned. So, imagine my surprise when DH said he wasn't sure he was going to take anything away. Needless to say, when we got report cards last week, both SD and SS were failing 4 (out of 7) classes. He didn't do anything about it. (do "The Waffle"..do "The Waffle") I was so broken. I just can't believe that he talks himself up like that and then crumbles under the pressure of having to parent. I really should confess that he has been on the ball with them in the afternoons, though. Every day, he asks for specific items (he had parent/teacher conferences and some teachers informed him that he should see work every day). SS now has a paper that is filled out every day by each teacher letting DH know what was done in class and what homework (if any) was assigned. It's been very helpful, but he still gets the "I don't have it/I forgot it" excuses when it comes to the daily reading they are supposed to do. SS really threw us for a loop Friday evening at dinner. We were talking about homework/school, etc and when talking directly to SS about his grades, he matter-of-factly stated that we shouldn't expect them to get any better. We were dumbfounded. DH just as matter-of-factly explained that school is the only thing SS12 needs to worry about and there is just no getting out of it. If you drop out...you better hope you can live with BM because you aren't living in my home. SS really wants to go into the military, so I told him that he wouldn't be able to get into the military without a H.S. diploma (I didn't mention anything about a GED)
Neither of the skids cares one little bit about school. From time to time, there is an attitude about it, but they just really have no interest at all....AT ALL!!! I mean, I didn't like school, but this seems to be beyond that...there is just no caring whatsoever....I'm lost.
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Quick note on the military
Quick note on the military thing - One of the parents at my day care - her husband was trying to join and went back and got his GED and was informed that the military is not accepting folks with a GED. They want a HS diploma. Now this guy has other issue that make him a bad fit for the military anyways.
Back to the grades - if there are no consequences for bad grades - then nothing will change. Is the school passing them on to the next grade every year?
That's good to know about the
That's good to know about the GED...that's awesome!
This is really the first year that SS has done so badly...and it's his first year in jr high...so I am hoping that it's just going to take some adjustment since he was rather babied by his past teachers. SD just attended summer school this past summer, but, yes, there were a couple teachers that basically said "if you will just turn in your work...I will pass you". I guess even that was too easy for SD because she couldn't even pull that off. And yes..when I found out about what some teachers told her, I reported it to the counselor of the school.
DH claims that he was "giving" the kids the first six weeks, but from now on...he's going to be on the case. It is slightly encouraging to see him step up and take charge the last couple weeks during homework time. And he had previously told SD (and AM) that he wasn't paying for summer school again this year. If she fails...she repeats the grade...he doesn't care how many times she fails...it's ultimately her responsibility to make the grades. So, I guess I can always keep watching until the next progress report/report card comes out to see where it goes from here....
Every time I think of "Do The
Every time I think of "Do The Waffle", I hear the music and words of "Do The Hustle" in my head....
This is exactly how my SS16
This is exactly how my SS16 started out. Turns out it wasn't about school. It's indicative of a more serious underlying issue - SS believes he has the right to spend all his time pleasantly and should never have to endure any discomfort, and SS believes nobody has any right to tell him anything since he needs to "make his own mistakes."
My SS has now escalated to petty criminal activity. We have to go to a hearing next month.
If the kids don't respect authority and/or have no work ethic, they are headed for much bigger trouble than just failing school.
L
This is a topic that I have
This is a topic that I have discussed with DH many times over the years. Not necessarily from the angle of ending up in legal trouble, but more from the angle of them not wanting to hold a job, thinking that we will provide everything for them, not being responsible for anything in life. I think for a long time, DH was able to blow me off as exaggerating, but he is starting to see the light. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I was talking to SD's Favorite Aunt recently, and she said "SD is gonna end up being a pregnant high school drop out" I looked her straight in the eye and said "That's what I've been saying for years and no one wanted to "hear" me nor wanted to change things for SD's sake" (this is the same aunt that has always acted as if I were too tough on the skids).
Ahhhhhh...some day you'll be
Ahhhhhh...some day you'll be in the post office buying stamps and you'll look up and see their picture hanging on the wall! You will get a small smirk on your face and you will know the feeling of vindication!
My day is coming, too! :0)
Funny thing about the
Funny thing about the military though, they expect you to WORK. Boot Camp is no picnic. You have to listen and do things you are told to do. If not, you are punished. Also the did not do your homework thing does not fly either. The military will chew up kids that were permissive parented.
It might be a good option!
Yes!!! I am hoping he will
Yes!!! I am hoping he will go into the military...it may just get the lazy kid turned into a well adjusted man!!