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DH now selling his car for skids private school tuitions

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:18am

Court is in a few months. BM refused to take kids out of private even though DH had a big paycut and she declared bankruptcy earlier this year. Now that her debt has been restructured (erased) she probably has the money to fund her 30 percent share. We don't and aren't going to declare bankruptcy. So off to court we go. In the meantime DH is selling his car so he has extra cash on hand in case the judge doesn't find our way.

This seems to bother the skids not one iota. I feel very guilty because DH is obviously stressed and depressed and I am refusing to help financially anymore (I put in my salary but I won't dip into my savings).

And BM is so smug the courts will side with her but she's only hurting SS18, because we won't have any money for his college.

Comments

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:28am

I felt like it! Except my DH pays 2400 in support at 70 percent of four private school tuitions. FML!

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:30am

I used to make up difference in household expenses (anywhere from a few hundred to more per month) but I ref to do this now. Hence DHs stress and depression. Things are tight to the point of will we have money for groceries and gas? Not on me anymore though.

Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:28am

How long have they been in private school? Was it a decision they made before the divorce? I think because of ss's age, it might be hard to get a judge to rule in your favor if they've been in private school the whole time, especially since one should be graduating this year.

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:33am

SS is out of the picture. It's the other 3.

I'm not trying to change this willy nilly. DH literally doesn't have the cash and BM declared bankruptcy. What they decided 9 years ago is irrelevant. They can't afford it NOW.

Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:36am

Believe me, I feel your pain. However, I think since they've been in private schools all this time, the judge is probably not going to change it.

I would do the same thing as you are. I would not dig into my savings for this either. You have no vested interest in how they turn out. He'll figure something out. Stay strong and don't go in hock for them.

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:31am

We have excellent (blue ribbon) public schools. Families that make many multiples of us use them because they are smart.

moeilijk's picture

Submitted by moeilijk on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:44am

Sorry, HRNYC, you've misrepresented the facts. The way you wrote it, it sounds like the only schools designated as Blue Ribbon have at least 40% disadvantaged students AND the school achieves high or improved performance. That isn't the case at all.

What IS the case is that one-third of the public schools nominated for a Blue Ribbon in each state must have a student population that is at least 40% disadvantaged.

http://www.nationalblueribbonschools.com/home/about-us/

AllySkoo's picture

Submitted by AllySkoo on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:50am

Maybe I haven't had enough coffee... I genuinely don't get the difference between what you and HRNYC wrote? 40% disadvantaged... she said "awarded" and you said "nominated", and I would think the difference between awarded and nominated is performance? No? What am I not getting?

AllySkoo's picture

Submitted by AllySkoo on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:51am

Not enough coffee for sure, I see it now. Only 33% of those nominated have to be 40% disadvantaged. Got it. Smile

moeilijk's picture

Submitted by moeilijk on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:56am

Yes, so in fact, it could be that NO public school designated actually has a single disadvantaged youth.

And all schools must meet other educational criteria. Etc.

But really, I'm a Canadian living in the Netherlands... the public/private debate has a whole 'nother meaning for me anyways!

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 1:00pm

Ok well it is routinely ranked as the best school district in a fairly well off state. Maybe blue ribbon was the wrong thing to cite.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 11:56am

My BS17 goes to private school and to be honest, I cant afford it either and I cannot WAIT until I make that last payment in April. AMEN! Unfortunately, I don't have an Ex that I can milk for tuition money cause he's a broke ass & it's been a struggle. However, private school has made a HUGE difference in my son and his education. It has also opened MANY doors as far as the college process is concerned.
Best money I have ever spent and we do have GREAT public schools but private was better for athletics.

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 12:05pm

Not trying to make your blood pressure rise Smile but when custody of SD changed to BM at age 15, the judge ordered DH to pay for half of all her activities because "she was used to being in them." No consideration of whether that was realistic or could be afforded. Just a blanket statement to be responsible for half of pretty much whatever she wanted to do.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Tue, 02/10/2015 - 12:42pm

This happened to my DH as well. He changed jobs once and was making WAY less money than his previous job. When he went for a modification, the judge stated that it was not his children's fault that he decided to take a lower paying job, therefore changing the way of life his kids were accustomed to. He denied the modification.
Eventually, the payments were such that Dh had to go back to his previous job so he could afford the CS.
Some judges are just disgusting.