Is It Worth It?
I don't know how much more I can take. I can't stand the fighting with hubby, I can't stand SD's whining, lying, crying, bad behavior, or even presence any more. The kid is a problem and my husband constantly overcompensates, takes the blame for her, lets her get away with hurting our two small children, and I am literally at the end of my rope.
My husband is a good man, but I feel like SD's overwhelming need for attention takes away from our children and even from me. My hubby and I fight all of the time over discipline (or lack of). I am super busy taking care of our home and children and frankly, I just don't feel that it is my responsibility to have to parent SD because she has a bad mom. I honestly despise BM and SD. The conflict is ruining my marriage. As much as I love my children (I would die for them), I want to provide a home with both parents for them. But I worry that they will see how differently SD is treated and how much more attention she gets. Despite wanting this for my children, I just don't know how much more I can take, and am constantly wondering if the struggle is even worth it. My heart is torn in two and is breaking. Even my mother in law overcompensates with SD. She nearly ignores our two children and spends all of her time with SD or talking about SD. I am sick to death of hearing about and dealing with SD. SD is only 4, but manipulates my hubby beyond words, beats up on my children, lies, has been "touching" and making out with neighborhood children, and just never listens or behaves.
While I know this is not all her fault and that BM is largely to blame because she refuses to parent...she's too busy with her own social life that she tries to buy her love and be her friend instead of giving her attention, discipline, structure and stability to really be a parent. BM is so selfish that she doesn't even know how to put her daughter first and it is affecting how she acts everywhere. While this isn't my fault, it is definately a problem of mine.
Hubby and I have discussed and fought over this so many times. It does no good. HE doesn't hear me or he doesn't care.
Frankly, I just want BM to take her full time so SD can stop dominating our house - our marriage - our family. Unfortunately that will never happen because BM doesn't even seem to want her as much as she has her now.
There is no light at the end of the tunnel, and I fear no hope. Can anyone offer any advice?
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Comments
welcome to my world
I just wrote about the same thing, my step son has flung food at me, called me obscene names, told me his mom says he does not have to listen to me, etc. And my husband just says I need to deal with it that she is trying to get at me but says nothing to her!!!! We fight and fight and fight and I have been tempted to pack my bags and go
thorn in the side
Well I can only feel bad for you, with her being 4 it is tuff and with that lack of parenting. The mother seems like she needs to grow up and take care of her responsibility. As for your husband: he is a man what do you expect, they need to be coached on issues like this... I truely believe he hasn't the slightest idea of what to do.... On 1 hand I think that you should over ride him and discipline her the way that you see fit, maybe ask him if he thinks that your 2 children are doing well and if he is happy with your parenting to them and when he says yes then say great I think then I should parent (4 YR old) since I have a good idea of what she is lacking.. He needs to understand that she is not a special member of the family with special rules and privelages... She needs to come in to that house and abide by the same rules and become a productive member of the household and that will not start until she is disciplined to your rules. The work needs to be done now not later and he needs to buck up to his responsibilities...him being so lax with her is contributing to her becomeing a monster as much as the neglectful BM. The bigger the monster the bigger the mess, Rules need to be made for ALL of his children and followed by ALL. Hang in there , you need to talk not fight I know that is hard, but people don't listen in arguements. Best of luck