Hi everybody. I haven't posted in quite a while -- things have been pretty good at my house.

Recently SS25's car died, he can't find a job he can walk to and busses don't run on time yada yada. He lives about an hour away, finishing up college. So his solution is to come live with us for the month of June, until he goes back to school in July. Then he'd continue whatever job he finds on weekends and stay with us weekends until he completes his degree.

Uhm, ok. So his dad says this is fine. Was I consulted? Of course not. So SS was here this weekend to look for this miracle job that will perfectly fit his schedule and his plan. He's basically a good guy, helpful around the house, polite. That hasn't always been the case so I'm grateful for the change. The weekend was fine until I started asking questions about logistics, like local transportation and getting to/from the town where he's in school.

So I say to DH, "you mean you're going to drive 2 hr roundtrip so SS can get to a part time likely minimum wage job?" And he's going to be here every weekend for a YEAR if his plan works out? And when he's here he will use your car?" Yes to all of these things.

And I ask a little further. "What happens when you need your car (which happens frequently as he's a musician and his gear doesn't fit into mine)? What happens if you have a band job and can't play taxi? And we're going to have to check his schedule before we plan anything for ourselves? And my weekends will be entirely centered around the needs of your son for a year?"

Well he hadn't thought about all that. I suggested (okay, it wasn't a suggestion) this wasn't going to work and that I resented the hell out of having my home and my time occupied without being asked.

DH and I both have had trouble in the past with our seeming inability to say no to our kids--and we realize we have done them no favors. But dang this was way over the top. I think DH gets it but I'm not sure what he has/has not communicated to SS. Probably something like "This won't work for Winehead." And it will be my fault. Betcha.