There have been times that I have gone to court and other times that I haven't. Got to be way to emotional to be talked about in a negative manner and yet not have a right to defend myself or to be represented.

FYI - bf and bm went to court involving contempt issues and the judge refused to hear the case and ordered a GAL to go over the case when they both showed up to represent themselves and this ended up costing us thousands of dollars more than if we had just hired an attorney. (and we were in the right per the gal)

on another note love your logon name wifeversion 2.0 (means your the updated and improved version, yeah!)

I have gone with my wife every time. I always get excluded and have to wait in the witness room with the rest of the witnesses but I go to be there for my wife.

The SpermIdiot always moves (his attorney actually) to exclude witnesses because the dipshit does not want his parents to know all of the gory details of his idiocy because he knows we will drag his ass through the mud with the facts of his life. He knows we will have his arrest record, police officers to testify, XGFs, former gang banger wanabee buddies, and PI reports as well as information on his under the table income from side plumbing jobs.

Good luck.

I have always gone to support DH, but like Rags said, I always have to wait outside the courtroom (usually with BM's mother & the skids). It's uncomfortable for me to sit there with the 3 of them glaring at me, but as uncomfortable as it is for me, I know DH's needs someone to be there for him. Were it me having to go before the judge, I would want him to be there for me. Court is nerve-wracking for everyone. Why make him go through it alone?

DO NOT i repeat DO NOT go to court with him! I work in family law and i can tell you first hand a judge does not like it at all when the new spouse shows up. it can turn the courtroom into a circus!

I know it is nerve racking (trust me my DH has court tomorrow too) but you just have to understand it is out of your hands and what happens is going to happen whether you are there or not.

Judges might not like it but if that is the case when the ex's attempt to use me or to limit my involvement with the kids based on her fears and not facts then I should be involved and I should have a right to address the court and present my own evidence to defend myself.

This idea that a step parent can not be a party to an action but yet are forced to be a responsible party for a child without being heard is wrong. I know that many of us have been written into orders without us even being in the court room to have the opportunity to find out if we can even comply with the order as the judge has requested much less to be heard on our feeling of the subject.

Things in our court system do need to change. I do not feel sorry for the courts being so busy or having to put up with people in the court room - if you are going to make me part of the order and if I am responsible legally or financially in any manner I should have a right to be heard on the issues.

I agree with you all that the court system is screwed up. Unfortunately there are more idiots out there that dont give a shit and only care about the retainer fee rolling in their pockets that the few good ones remaining are looked on as big of assholes as the others. I work for a small firm with a specialty of family law. the attorneys where i work bust their asses to advise the clients of the law and remind them to think in the best interests of their children. they work hard for global resolution to their cases and often dont get paid.

I was just stating my honest opinion from what i have personally seen. Judges frown upon the new spouse, bf/gf in the court. Often times it can piss off the other party and the small issue you think you are going in on turns into a 3 ring circus. It is not just brining in the new spouse, it bringing children, mothers, brothers friends etc etc etc. They prefer the two parties and their attorneys unless someone else is subpoenad otherwise.

it is undertanble wanting to stand by your DH and put up a united front but sometimes taking the high road and being supportive behind the scenes will get a much better result.

Think of how it looks... your DH shows up to court professional, well dressed and ready for his case. the BM shows up with a bunch of ppl that the judge finds inaapropriate.. that goes into the back of the judges head when the decision is rendered.

Whatever you decide. Best of luck, i hope you guys prevail!

In our state the court is open to the public unless a special hearing. Perhaps that is the difference. Not good to show up with a posses when the court is already packed full of other ppl waiting for their cases to be heard.

I cant explain the way the judges think, i just know where i work we always strongly reccommend the client to come by himself.

juvinile court is private. divorce court hears matters two ways... calendar matter - which is open court for small quick matters, and special assignments i.e assigned hearings etc are closed.

childrens names are not disclosed during calendar hearings etc. just referred to as minor child(ren)

Good luck!

I've gone every time to support DH. I never considered not going.

Our (as in the U.S.) court system is open to the public - mostly. That includes family court. A judge has to show very good cause for closing court. Not all proceedings involving juveniles are closed. Your lawyer can find out for you or you can call the judge's secretary (not just some random clerk) and ask. The only people I've seen who were told to wait outside for criminal trials were witnesses and BM and DH haven't had any of those (criminal trials or witnesses that is ;)).

I don't think our judge minds. I'm sure BM and her BF do when DH's lawyer waves me into the meeting room when they have to go to their respective corners to negotiate via lawyer.

If you go, get yourself situated in the audience section early, be sure and turn off your cellphone. Our judge will tell you if your phone rings, he'll keep it and he really needs a new phone. Be prepared to stay for the whole duration, judges hate people coming and going. Also, stand up when the judge enters and leaves.