DH sent BM an email about SS..getting ready for the shit to hit the fan
DH finally admits SS17 has a drug and alcohol problem and is in dire need of professional help. He mentioned this to BM in a text message and completely disagreed...even though she calls/texts semi regularly to complain about his issues that go on and on and on.
So, DH wrote an official email and cc'd our lawyer on it asking her to "be on board" with what's best for SS17.
Now we wait for the shit storm to begin. BM is an alcoholic, in denial of course. She cares more about finding a new guy every other week than she does about mothering her brat. She's a major reason he's so screwed up. If she were to "allow" him to go for counseling, she would be talked about and uncomfortable. Hell, she might even have to admit she's an alcoholic and that just wouldn't do.
I can't wait to see where this takes us...just when I thought I could breathe a little easier. WHy can't they just go away. I hate them all! I resent all of them for interfering with MY life. Why does their life have anything to do with me? UGH. I DON'T CARE.
Now, where are my hip waders? This shit is going to be deep
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Oh he doesn't want to go.
Oh he doesn't want to go. He's a minor and doesn't have much choice, however. Just unsure on how to get him there. The bitch in me says fuck him. I hate him and don't really care what happens. The wife in me doesn't want my DH to suffer any more than he already has and wants SS to get the help so my DH can move on.
The problem lies in that the fact that BM is a complete and utter waste of skin and tells SS he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to and daddy is a big meanie 'cause he took your vehicle away because you've been driving under the influence and you haven't paid your ins for 3 months. Boo hoo
So, let it go and pray for the best or force the issue while he's still a minor for the next 6 months?
Your DH needs to push n push
Your DH needs to push n push hard. I'm in a similar situation with my DH n Ss17. My DH sees the problem but is leaving it up to SS17 to decide if he wants to go to counselling. I can honestly say if I was the parent and in the same position
My SS17 would have 2 choices . 1. Get help or 2. Leave. He wouldn't be getting pocket money, he wouldn't have mates over, he wouldn't have a bedroom door!!
I know there are times teens get into drugs n alcohol but I have to say, parents bury their heads to reality. I saw a lot of what was happening with how my SS17 was being parented by DH n BM and I see both as being ignorant parents. They still are. One, my DH never wants to upset SS17 n BM isn't around that often. Living 2 hrs away from your teen for the past 4 years isn't a exactly what I call a Mum!!
Wow, Cupid - it sounds like
Wow, Cupid - it sounds like we live the same life in different parts of the world. Your situation sounds identical to mine, right down to the ignorant BM and DH. Good luck!
My DH is, at this point, letting SS17 call the shots to a degree. SS isn't answering calls or texts so he doesn't have to have a difficult conversation with his dad. DH is ignoring it and saying "whatever". Not what I would do, but it's none of my business, right?