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Almost done or just starting?

weekendwidow's picture

I was doing some mental math and I realized my SS17 will be 18 in only 7 more months. Which means he can do whatever he wants when it comes to visiting. No more EOWE B.S....but it also means he can just come over, stay, eat dinner...this isn't ever going to end is it? Basically I'm stuck with him FOREVER.

I also had a panic attack (not really) about him and college. His grades are awful and there's no way he will ever be accepted anywhere decent. So, that leaves community college - not an awful alternative. But, that most likely will translate into him living with us because we live much closer to the school than his BM does. This has been brought up before and I just ignored it until now when it really hit me that this could actually happen. OMG

There is no friggin way I could handle that! My DD will be going away to college full ride, sports and academic scholarships and my DS will just be starting H.S.

I don't want the derelict SS to poorly influence my DS14. How the hell would I do this? What rules do I enforce and what if my DH disagrees with my concerns and boundaries?...I don't want this to end our marriage, but I'm scared it will.

Anyone been there done that? What worked? What didn't?

Comments

hereiam's picture

You lay it all out well ahead of time. Calmly, factually, make it sound like this is just what is fair if it were anybody else living with you.

If he sucks in school, are there any vocational schools (near BM, of course) that he could go to instead of CC? HVAC or something?

weekendwidow's picture

I think he should've been in tech school all along - interestingly so does BM! Too late for that now, but I think he would be just fine learning a trade. He'll never make it in college and we NEED people in the service industries. AND, it's 100% honorable! I will definitely look to see what is available near BM. Good idea!

I think my DH feels it is somehow a lesser thing to NOT have a college degree. I totally disagree here. What IS a lesser thing is flunking out of college and not having a skill so you become a sloth and a leach. THAT's deplorable. He should learn a trade and become a contributing member of society. It will boost his self worth, too! UGH

weekendwidow's picture

Getting DH to agree to giving his son rules and guidelines or else is the ONLY source of arguments in our marriage. This is never going to happen unless DH hits his head and suddenly wakes up to reality. He just can't see what EVERYONE else sees - or he does and just doesn't admit that his son is a loser...

If only there was a way to get him to pull his head out of his ass.