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I feel this often, do you?

wasabi's picture

Submitted by wasabi on Wed, 01/11/2023 - 9:16pm

I was my skid didn't exist. She's exhausting. Life would be much easier. I can't say this to my partner because he loves his shnookums but man would it be easier 

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Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Thu, 01/12/2023 - 3:20am

How old is she? What does visitation look like? How often is she there?

Lifer33's picture

Submitted by Lifer33 on Thu, 01/12/2023 - 3:12am

I was also going to ask how old the child is and how long theyve been in your life?

There was a terrible couple of years in the beginning here where I couldn't stand the sight or sound of my ss. He was super annoying,  entitled, sneaky you name it. Compounded by a hcbm, and me having baby dd who I was pretty sure he was trying to harm at the time. But he was only 6. Now dd is 7 she can also be annoying af, but she is my annoying lol. Also she would never attempt to harm another child so yea that I haven't forgotten 

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 01/12/2023 - 7:06am

I get that kids can be frustrating... they can be loud, messy, difficult at times.  And.. they NEED adults to take care of them.. and to teach them how to behave.  They don't come out with all that knowlege right?

From skimming a few of your past posts.. you seem to just not be a "kid person"... and that's fine.. I was not a huge "kid person" myself when I met my DH who had two.. 5 and 9 yo's.. and over the years.. sure..there were times when it was a LOT.. the noise.. the mess.. the having to consider two extra human beings in our plans.. and in our finances.. oh.. and the connection to the EX.. not always fun.

And.. sure.. my life and his life would be simpler if he had not had kids.. but if that is what you NEED in your life.. what are you doing with someone with kids?  I was able to adapt.. and somehow we all got them over the finish line into adulthood where they are reasonably nice young women.. both living independently.. and my help had a big role in that... but if you are going to resent the child... you are going to tend to get a reflection of that energy.. and it will likely make for a very unhappy stretch of years for you, your SO and his child.

If this is really not for you.. the best and kindest thing to do is end it.. for everyone's sake.. including your own.

and.. yes.. kids are kids.. they often don't know better.. and don't have the executive mental function that adults do.. so they do get more of a pass.. but that doesn't mean their parents don't react to it.. they work to help the child improve behavior.