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Blog 1: mattress cover

wasabi's picture

Submitted by wasabi on Thu, 09/08/2022 - 2:20pm

I'm starting these just to vent/ make myself feel a bit better. 
 

Sent skid to other bio parent yesterday after an entire 4.5 days of skid from hell moments. This morning I woke up so excited to not have them, only to find the foam peices of the mattress topper under the skids bed( skid picked them off then hid them). Ungrateful little shit. 

This was the cherry ontop to a shitty week.

 

Comments

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 09/08/2022 - 2:28pm

And treat them like journals. Sometimes I need advice, but now after 8 plus years I mainly vent.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Thu, 09/08/2022 - 2:33pm

What is their reasoning for picking it apart? Sounds like they have some sort of issue that needs to be addressed by their parent or a therapist.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 09/08/2022 - 2:45pm

that or if there was a pet that could have done it? or maybe it was old and was breaking down?  I'm not sure otherwise what the point of it would have been.. if the kid was young.. roughhousing and it got damaged? idk?

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Thu, 09/08/2022 - 2:42pm

WTF is wrong with them? Don't they like comfort? Time for a plank under ( on top of?) their mattress... 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Thu, 09/08/2022 - 2:52pm

Eh, I'd want to know the why first. We didn't know at the time why, but my YSK destroyed stuff when they were younger due to high anxiety and depression. Basically, instead of harming themselves, they harmed other things. Wasn't until they were a teen that they could express that (and by that time, they had started having self-harm ideation).

Ispofacto's picture

Submitted by Ispofacto on Thu, 09/08/2022 - 3:09pm

Killjoy pulled out all of her eyebrows when she was 8.  We were winning a custody battle against Satan and Killjoy was under a lot of pressure to make allegations of abuse against me and DH.

Amazingly, she didn't fold, not because of consceince or any particular love for us, but for fear of being completely at Satan's mercy.

 

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Thu, 09/08/2022 - 5:36pm

YSD picked things apart all the time. It was/is a wierd compulsion (yes, I think a bit of autism based on a lot of her actions...but what do I know, I'm not a parent...).  The last thing she was picking apart was a nice woven trivet set I kept on the dining table. I told her many times to knock it off, don't ruin them, but she wouldn't stop. Maybe couldn't?  

Anyway, I put those away so she couldn't damage them further and replaced them with solid wood trivets.  Since DH didn't see the problem.

Your SO/DH should be picking up the mess AND replacing the mattress cover, not you. OR you clean it up and it's just not ever replaced. This was my modus operandi - OSD destroyed, literally THREE lamps in her room. She dismantled the first one, broke the second one and the third one, bought at a garage sale, she broke that too (DH bought that one). None were replaced. I shrugged and told her to ask her dad if she wanted another one.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 09/09/2022 - 5:52am

I agree this may have not been intentional but a nervous tic type thing. Stress reactions. Not to say they aren't horribly behaved kids- but sometimes you have to stop, remember that they are just kids and that they act how they have been raised to act. 

I think that was one of the hardest things for DH and I to realize. After BM got my SS to herself for years, DH only having 6 weeks of long distance visitation a year (which he rarely even got), the person that my SS became was exactly who he was raised to be. While he is responsible for some of his actions- the rest is just shitty parenting. DH couldn't correct anything at that point.

This could be your DH's fault, it could be BM's, it could be both. I would pay attention to the parents in all of this. They are the ones setting the tone.