My first entry on the site. I thought that I would give you a little background. I am searching for support and information. I am the mother of 6 children and as of October we will also have our 1st grandchild. My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years, we were show chior dance partners in high school, he a wrestler and I a cheerleader, both of us were very active in school, worked since we were 14 years old and have a history of simular backgrounds. BUT there was not a love interest during that period of our lives. We did not hang out together either even though we lived in a rather small rural town. Both of us during periods when we were married to our previous ex's ran into each other, watched each other's kids and both the spouses and us met a few times for dinner also, still no love interest. Not until we were both in the process of getting a divorce and after not having seen each other for over 3 years, living in different communities over 150 miles from each other did we happen by chance run into each other. He needed a sitter for his two boys who were ages 3/5 since his wife had left both him and the boys after having many affairs (which are documented in the court paperwork and in therapy sessions held towards the end of the marriage between the two). He was working full-time and I had just moved back to town and my divorce had been pending for over a year while my ex was attempting to fight the divorce actions (I don't know why because he had moved on, abuse was documented by legal means and hospital visits). I had known that the only way that i was going to be able to support my four children at that time ages 1,3,8 and 10 was to complete my BS degree. Neither of our ex's were paying support. My ex was refusing to provide child support and did not pay a dime for over 9 months at the time and my husband now coming into the picture and offering to exchange babysitting so he could work and I could attend night classes was a life saver for us both. The rest is history, we ended up falling in love and all of the kids had an opportunity to get to know and love both of us. (the kids actually thought that they "set us up for a date") Entering into the picture with the kids at such a young age was a blessing. As the relationship progressed we involved the kids in the decision to become a family and at the beginning of course the kids called us by our 1st names because we were not in a relationship. As time progressed they each choose when to begin to call each of us "mom or dad". That was the beginning of the trouble with not only the ex's but the in-laws. My husband and I agreed on how to parent the children and had made the decision to have each of us be equals to each other and that because the children were living with us full-time and having every other weekend visits with thier other parent that both of us had equal responsibility for the children. We still believe this to be the most healthy option for raising a child. Having found ourselves in situations in which the other parent was making choices that were not healthy for the children such as introductions to multiple partners, drugs, refusing to take visitation or to attend therapy with the children to hellp them adjust to end of the parental relationship. We felt that our relationship was a chance to demonstrate what a healthy relationship between adults could be as well as for a parent child relationship.