Well, the crap hit the fan, and now DH is heartbroken
Starry called DH last weekend and asked him if we wanted to hang out with them. DH responded by telling her that he was surpised she would want to spend time with us both because of how much she doesn't like me.
She got really quiet and tried to play it off like she wanted to still include me. And then she went bolistic. She brought up a bunch of junk from when she was a kid about how he was always yelling at her (which is not true. DH was one of the softest parents I know) and that he has a bad temper (this is somethat he struggled with in the past but has now grown past). Bascially, she's pissed off that SHE was not number one in DH's life above every other relationship he has.
She threw all kinds of stuff at him, things that he has apologized to her more than once for. She brought up stuff that I did that I have already apologized for. When DH mentioned this fact, she said she didn't believe I was geniune.
She said to DH over and over that she was worried that he is going to "shun" her now. Then she told him that he was no longer a safe person for her.
You know what that sounds like? "I hate you. Don't leave me."
All of the things I have suspected all of these years are true, even though for years DH accused me of being paranoid and that one day she would see everytihng I have done in her life and appreciate me.
What a crock of bullshit! This girl has never accepted me as part of this family and she has been faking it the whole time with this nice girl routine.
This hurts a lot. And now I'm pissed off. What a waste of my time and energy. I did so much for her all these years. So much! And it was ALL a waste!
DH is so heartbroken. NOW he finally sees what I've been warning him about for years.
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I'm so sorry, darlin.
I'm so sorry, darlin.
What are the chances that he'll rewrite history and "forget" her lashing out? I just wouldn't get too excited that you've been vindicated. He may conveniently forget that part.
The chances of that are
The chances of that are pretty slim. She holds as much contempt for him as she does for me.
And he has never been one to rewrite history.
I think the part
About us SMs being RIGHT about their crotch droppings is most hurtful of all to these men. I wouldn't do a "I told you so" dance but from the angle "this was inevitable, DH."
These kids always play
All the the kids play all the angles. To look good in there mind to guilt you for there childhood. They screw up there childhood by playing games. Not your fault. You are living with out them quite well. Disengage from all of this. I would not want to hand with people who don't like me.
I'm sorry, truly.
It hurts so much when the facade crumbles and exposes the ugly truth - that all our efforts and good intentions were wasted; that we were never truly accepted; and that none of it was real but we went along with it despite knowing the truth.
Still, the truth does set us free. There's a fresh start in those ashes and you're incredibly fortunate to have the support of your husband. Starry has shown her true colors, which gives YOU victim status and makes her the persecutor.
Focus on your marriage, supporting each other, and mourning the family you thought you had. Use this upheaval to bring you and your DH closer, because this is not the end. It's merely another chapter in your step saga, and Starry will return at some point so you and your DH need to have a game plan for when that happens. IMO your DH's adult daughter needs therapy to work through her issues, including her feelings of abandonment, so perhaps that could be a requirement for any reunification.
Be kind to yourself, Rutherford. You've always kept things classy, and the high ground is yours.
Bascially, she's pissed off
Sounds typical of the average skid and BM
This is exactly why I'd never go "all-in" for a skid (more power to the step parents who do) - especially the disrespectful ones with Disney parents and/or conniving breeders lurking in the background
When Mothers Day rolls around you'll quickly see who these skids prefer and the level of respect they have for you.....give them back the same energy and respect that they give
Nice girl act
SD18 Princess powersulk do nada is all about the victimized nice girl routine. It works.
Ive been all in at times and now Im over it. But I need to expose things a bit more. As shes getting snotty with me, husband cannot unsee it.
For years his daughters held the power because their father needed them for something. The eldest was tasked with elder care. The youngest now is needed for new puppy duty while we get things set up. Or rather husband gets things set up.
Meanwhile Im being as irritating as possible.
The beauty of now is that she
The beauty of now is that she is a write off. For you, and for DH. No more wasted time or resources on her, and no need to tolerate her or her bullshit in any way.
Time for daddy to give her the final message that she is full of shit and that he will no longer waste his time on her. If she wants a relationship then she needs to grow TF up, pull her head out of her own ass, knock off her self delusional lying bullshit, and learn to behave with some decency and respect for her elders.
Until then..... she is a write off. Neither you nor daddy should care a flying rat's ass about her and rather than grieve the wasted time and resources, celebrate the new toxic spawn free life together.