Ok, so a little background first (in case you don't know). Dh and I have been married 6 years. He has ss12 from his high school gf. They never married and actually broke up before ss was even 2. Together we have 3 kids- DD1 (5), DS (almost 4), and DD2 (5mths). When we first got married ss came over eow. He had his own room. I did the 'good' stepmom thing- spent time alone with him, triedto make nice with bm, buy bm Christmas present 'from ss, helped with pickups/dropoffs, attended ss school events with dh...blah blah. Then after DS was born things went downhill. Ss didn't want to come anymore and bm didn't make him. Dh Lost his job. Bm blamed me for cs going down and tried to prove dh quit his job. We had proof otherwise. Dh got a job out of town and we moved. We've been living here for 3.5 years now. During that time ss stopped visiting. Bm didn't convince him to come and even made excuses when dh tried to get him on scheduled days. The cops never do anything so dh stopped trying. Dh didn't force him to come and stopped trying to get him to come. He visited maybe 1-2 a year...? Never on holidays. Our kids grew up not knowing ss (their half brother) really. Fastf forward to this year. Bm took dh to court for more cs. We never talk to her. Not even dh unless he absolutely has to. So she didn't know we were expecting #3! (in our state he cs percentage goes down with each child dh has and supports at home.) we weren't going to change anything and just keep paying her the higher percentage. When dh got he paperwork he even tried talking to her and trying to convince her to keep things the same. Greedy bm! She wanted more $$! Unfortunately for her she didn't get much more but also was forced to start letting ss visit his dad. Not what she wanted.

Anyway, so starting in May ss has been coming regularly. It has been SO hard on all of us! No one is
used to it and no one really likes it. However dh feels since he's paying cs that he should see his son. Pride. Not really because heWANTS him to visit more of it's his right so he will. (I'm not saying he doesn't love ss though. He does.) So to drag this on more we are all adjusting and this summer has been loooooooong because dh insisted on having ss for his 30 days. Poor kid, 1st time in about 4 years he's had to come. Before summer started we decided not to go on a vacation since the baby was little. Now that our long hard summer is over I regret not going on a vacation! Dh knows how hard it has been on all of us and decided to take us on vacation in the fall. Just a long weekend but still. Only, it will be us and our kids- no ss. It isn't our first vacation without him since he never wanted to visit before. I am SO excited! Our bios don't know yet. Since they are so little we tell them things are happening like right before it happens or else we'll here months of 'when are we going?' so...is it wrong that I DON'T feel guilty about going without him? Is it worse that I'm actually excited about it?