SS18 Could Move In & Pay Rent!! HA HA HA HA HA!!
So, yesterday, DH and I were discussing using some of our Christmas money from his parents and some of my Christmas bonus to finally redo the basement into a mini-apartment.
We've been talking about this for a while...it's already half-finished, and it wouldn't cost that much to thoroughly finish it out, add a separate entrance and a bathroom. Not only would this increase the value of the home considerably...but we live right near the downtown of a mid-sized city that's a pretty popular tourist destination, so we've also considered doing the AirBnb thing for extra income.
When we've talked about this before, DH has subtly hinted about SS18...but yesterday he just came right out and asked: "What if SS 18 and his friend *John* rented the basement apartment from us instead and paid us $___ a month?"
Before thinking, I blurted out: "NO!!" loudly and forcefully. DH looked shocked...and like he wanted to kill me, momentarily.
Then I followed up: 1.) SS18 is already being forced out of his mom's house because he doesn't pay her rent regularly, so she's downsizing to a 2-bedroom for her and SD16, 2.) We originally just said we were going to fix up the basement a little and make it homier so SD16 can stay there when she's with us and I can have my office back. Where does SD16 stay if we rent it full-time to SS18? and 3.) You and SS18 butt heads constantly when he comes over for visitation. He does no chores, he lounges around all day watching TV when he's not at work, he leaves messes everywhere...why do we want to make this permanent?
DH hemmed and hawed for a while. He'd make SS pay rent regularly...it would be a completely separate apartment...etc.
I held my ground. Do you think for a minute that SS and friend would hesitate to come up to "our" part of the home to watch our nicer TV or raid our fridge? Or use our shower if they were in a hurry? I just don't see it staying "separate" at all. I can also see you asking SS to watch the dog while we're gone and "taking it off the rent" or do some other menial task around the home...I just don't think that it's worth the resentment and anxiety I know I will feel...
DH dropped it. I'm still pretty annoyed.
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Comments
This! Don't do it and save
This! Don't do it and save yourself the fight. Bank the money, put it into your retirement, or go on an awesome skid free vacation. If you create this space now it will be a source of nonstop conflict between you and DH.
TY for all of your advice.
TY for all of your advice.
Our area is incredibly lax on renting & property laws (Yay the South!)...but I don't want to rent it permanently at all. Just occasionally use it as an AirBnb and have it for SD16 when she comes over. DH never answered what we're supposed to do when SD is with us if we rent it full time to SS and his friend.
Yeah...SS is out at BM's starting this summer when she will move into an apartment w/SD. I think I'll conveniently find other projects for my time and $$$ until SS is settled in with a 12-month lease somewhere. I think once that happens, we will see far less of him in general.
Besides all of the other
Besides all of the other issues you mentioned, the fact that his BM is giving him the boot for not paying rent, is a big one. I mean, that would just be stupid to rent to someone who is known to NOT pay rent. Switching from one parent to the other is not the answer.
Your SS needs to learn responsibility, he needs to rent from someone other than family.
My ex claimed the same thing
My ex claimed the same thing about separate area and so on when adult ExSD moved in. None happened. There was nothing separate. The only thing she did not do is lay with us in bed. I only survived a year. Don't allow this
Twoofus, before anyone brings
Twoofus, before anyone brings a pillow into your home, PLEASE be sure to type up a lease of sorts. If you do not, you could face squatter troubles. I would encourage you to check into your county AND state laws regarding squatter rights.
My take on this is, BM child support is about to end. What a GREAT mom isn't she? Amazing how important her kids are until the money train stops for her.
Also your ss and his buddy need to find their own digs like other young adults do. It can be done, heck I roomed with 2 other girls at this age.
If you really wanted to be nice, offer to pay 1st and 2nd months rent but THEY need to cough up security deposit.
This responsibility will catapult them into adulthood whereas living with daddy will not.
DH said to me once, "You
DH said to me once, "You know, the SDs could end up living with us when they are adults too." Referring to the increase of adults living with parents because it's dang expensive in our area for young adults. I didn't disagree but thought, yeah, they are going to want to live 1.5 hours away from the city and possibly their college...? Nope, they will end up with BM in the city (who has an apartment below her home she rents out)....And I'm not going to want to keep our home once they are out anyway, no need for it if there's just two of us.
What I answered was, "Well, if they do there will be STRICT rules and RENT WILL BE PAID since they will be adults.
All he did was get quiet and blink several times...
DH said to me once, "You
DH said to me once, "You know, the SDs could end up living with us when they are adults too." Referring to the increase of adults living with parents because it's dang expensive in our area for young adults.
That's what ROOMMATES are for.
Yes, that's true. But the
Yes, that's true. But the situation in our area is that even THAT can price out young adults.
There's simply a dearth of housing overall.
I'm no pushover and think that kids should be out and I did it myself, but the costs here are so bad that even ADULTS with good incomes cannot afford a place.
If they end up at a 4 year college I will fully advocate for a DORM. Period.
My DH and I agreed a long
My DH and I agreed a long time ago that no other adult lives with us. It's hard on a relationship and it's hard to get them back out.