The words 'job's comforters' spring to mind!!
My DH has an 'unusual' family I have tried really hard to fit in but his bro's have been with their partners for years (20yrs and 15yrs respectively) and I am very much the new girl (I've only been on the scene for 2yrs)and boy do they love pointing it out!!
I come from a very close family we arrange family dinners regularly have big present days for all the kids in the family etc so I automatically did the same with DHs family when got together. There is always an excuse why non of them can come or when they do they screw their noses up at the food (altho nothing has ever been said out loud u can just tell!!)
DH has one brother that up until this year lived up in Scotland (we live in england) so I've only seen him a hand full of times. I've gotta admit he is the only sane one of the bunch and has always been really nice.
I say always, what I mean is up until this wkend. He decides to call DH and basically tear him a new one. Telling him he is not living up to his responsibilities and not spending enough time with his son. (BM has stopped us from seeing him completely during the week and will only let us have him at wkends if it suits her) she is a complete whack job but until our court date comes thru we cant do much about it. He told DH that he is making his mum n dad ill bcos he asks them to pick SS up (this only happens when DH gets stuck at work maybe once every couple of months). Shouldnt grandparents be happy to spend a bit of time with their grandkids? but then Im forgetting DHs family are a bunch of muppets with no sense of family!!! He finished the conversation by saying it wasnt fair that DH puts 'her' (meaning me) above his son. DH went bonkers and told him to stay out of it, then cut the conversation short. Que rest of family now wading in and telling him hes not doing enough.
I hate that his family are ganging up on him. He works so hard and tries to keep everyone happy this latest round has left him devastated. He thinks everyone thinks hes a loser when in truth its just his family who SUCK!!!!
I wouldnt mind but we have been thru hell this past 12months (read previous blogs for full details)and not once have any member of his family offered any help or support. Grrrrrr
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Trying, I understand what you
Trying, I understand what you mean about being the "new girl" I am in the same situation with DH's family. All of the other siblings have been married for 20+ years so I really feel left out sometimes. And every since SS moved out there seems to be an undertone within his family that it was my doing or fault.
Needless to say it makes me very uncomfortable when I am around them.
But I smile, try to be cheerful and make sure that I take every opportunity I can to let them know that DH is a good father, that he doesn't shirk his responsibilities, and he is a good husband.
Yeh its the same for me. I
Yeh its the same for me. I feel partly responsible bcos BM dumped SS on DH all the time b4 I showed up bcos 'he needs his daddy' but now he hardly ever sees him bcos she cant stand the thought of SS being part of a happy stable family that includes me. I feel like if I hadnt come along hed still see his son. I know thats how his family feel so when they pull this crap I feel really guilty just for being alive!
I feel like if I hadnt come
I feel like if I hadnt come along hed still see his son. I know thats how his family feel so when they pull this crap I feel really guilty just for being alive!
^^^ Yes. Me too. But then I realize if it wasn't me it probably would have been someone else.