We've decided to try and get her to settle for a certain amount each month. She will probably protest this, since she actually LIKES having this to hold over SO's head.

I've spoken with SO's lawyer, and he recommended we get an agreement about a monthly amount to be sent to BM in writing. This may be tricky, because BM doesn't really want the money... she just wants the control the money GIVES HER. When it's paid off, that will be one less barrel for her to hold him over. But, I think, if we catch her in the right state of mind, she may agree to something. I want this debt GONE. I don't believe she'll actually try and sue him. I think she's been waiting for an opportunity to make this particular threat.

This is disappointing in part because I wanted so much to get married, have a nice wedding, build a house, maybe have a baby. These things all seem unattainable to me due to SO's debt, especially the debt to BM. I could find someone else... but he's the whole reason I want these things in the first place. This has been devastating.

Any advice on how to get her to agree to something?