Why are they back in my life! I hate the disruption!
SM of officially 6. 1 lives with DH and I. He is 19 with a learning disability. BM walked out on him 7 years ago and took his 3 sisters with her. Very little to no contact for the past 4 years. SS is "too stupid to be part of her gene pool" is what BM said to her son. Been with DH for 7.5 years now. For the years that we had no contact with "them", life got easy and into a rhythm. In February 2013, they came back into the picture. The oldest SD hates her father. The youngest SD has very little memory of her father and the 2nd youngest SD hates me and worships the ground her father walks on. So after 42 times in court with BM (always for more money), now she is trying very hard to "Make Up" to her son for her abandonment. He is "my mommy this and my mommy that" all the time and I am resentful of that. I know it's wrong. I know, but can't help feeling hurt and rejected and mad as heck for being treated like I don't belong in my own home. I wish they would of stayed away! Life was easier then. I missed the SD's and I know my DH did very much. I went through the depression with him and SS and the adjustment phase of not having any contact withthem for over 4 years (she moved them away). As much as enjoy the SD's I hate the fact they are back. Now I have issues with SS and DH is off again! BM can't do anything wrong in SS's eyes and as he put it yesterday... "my mom wants me, she bought me shoes" I lost it.... I know, wrong, I know, but she bough him shoes, after rejecting him, missing 6 years of B-day's, Christmas's, Easters, Thanksgivings, etc.... The hell she put us through financially, emotionally and the stress she caused... but mommy can't do anything wrong. Well I wish mommy would drop off the face of the earth and leave MY makeshift family alone. We were doing great. Now we are falling apart.
Wrote this today....
What Am I
Am I sad?
Am I disappointed?
Am I mad?
Am I hurt?
Yes I Am!
I am all that and so much more!
Am I jealous? Yes a little
For 7 years, it’s been me
She abandoned you that long ago
Guilt has brought her back
And I am nothing once more
You forget the hurt she caused
Her evil ways and head games
In 7 years she bought you shoes
Such a wonderful mother
She kept your siblings away from you
She was ashamed of you
Her lie cast your dad in jail
False truths told in court
To her we had to pay
No money to help raise you
You’re a man now
You made your choice
You chose your mother
After all she’s done!
Yesterday I lost my son
For she has won
Leave me be
Let me grieve
- truetome's blog
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Comments
Oh I am so sorry for your
Oh I am so sorry for your pain and grief. I raised a disabled dd of my own. It's tough and yet rewarding. She's an adult now and lives in a carehome but she will always be my girl no matter who else cares for her so in that way I understand how your ss worships his mom no matter what she's done. Sad for the kids when mom abandons them but they're resilient. I did not abandon my daughter but when I put her into a home I felt like I had and she reacted for awhile like I had but now we're close friends. She just needed way more care then I could provide.
Thank you for your comments
Thank you for your comments and I'm so sorry to hear your troubles. I spent 15 years working with disabled/abled children in both group home, independent living and day program settings. I totally understand the amount of care some of the kids need and have dealt with many families that felt the abandonment feelings when they finally realized they don't have the financial, emotional, physical or support to care for their loved one. I know the kids and adults I worked with not only changed my life and tought me life lessons. But I know I had a positive impact on their lives and their families lives as well.
I think this is part of my problem dealing with BM .... I care for her son and she doesn't. I want the best for him. And she doesn't. But all he sees is mommy finally cares about me. It's so sad that he doesn't understand the head games she is playing with him and his father. All she wants is more money. Now that he gets disability pension she is all over him. Within 2 months I bet he will be talking about moving in with her. Then she can get not only DH paying more child aupport but also his disability pension!
Oops taught. Chuckle for the
Oops taught. Chuckle for the day ... In the group homes we use to have shift change meetings/ notes and BM stood for bowel movement! Just thought it poetic justice the bio mom is noted as a BM !