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dead beat BMs aka egg donors

truebloodfreak's picture

Submitted by truebloodfreak on Tue, 06/21/2011 - 4:06pm

I'm so tired and frustrated that bms responsibilities are now mine.to explain what type of person I'm dealing with--&- a small background. bm leaves her 5 Year old and baby with SO so she can party with her friends. SO was with his ex gf for 5 years. younger SS would call her mom. bm would stop in to be a parent

for a couple weeks at a time. fast forward to me. SS were 5 and 10. now they are 8 and 13. in 2010 we found out bm was claiming the boys so she could get a link card,housing and cash assistance.she also has 2 other kids by another man. she has told me the reason she take care of the boys is because she didn't have her life together. she has seen her kids maybe 5-6 times in the 4 years me and so been together. she barely calls them,they call her. I'm tired of her not taking care of her responsibilities. I'm tired of doing her job. i am going to text her to send us money because I'm tired of using my money on food for her kids. there is nothing legally done as far as custody,child support, court order-nothing. she basically just stopped being a mom. anyone else dealing with a dead beat. birth mother. ??????

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Kita.Marie's picture

Submitted by Kita.Marie on Tue, 06/21/2011 - 5:17pm

I can tell you true stories for days. Just a quick run down:

Hubby and I have been together for 5 yrs (give or take) and we married this past April Fool's Day (one month to his divorce date). He has 3D with BM one not being biologically his, but he has raised since she was 6mo. SDs have lived with us our whole relationship. SDs are 9,6, and 5. BM is supposed to pay cs but we don't really ever see it. BM is supposed to get SDs every other weekend, she doesn't but once a month if that. When the SDs call her she never and I mean never answers the phone and they leave messages that she never returns. When she does call its to talk to my hubby about anything but the SDs, i.e. her singing, her new job, or her new boyfriend. When she does see the SDs, BM usually calls shortly after for us to come get them bc she can't get them to mind, or go to bed. SDs have yet to stay a full weekend with her. BM is also supposed to have them the whole summer, its the 21st of June and they spent 32hrs of Father's Day weekend with her (she claimed it was her only free weekend). BM also tossed the biggest fit when we moved, we live in a twin city and moved across the state line. BM was pissed that we enrolled SDs in another school district, (which is better then the one they were in). BM has a on-again/off-again boyfriend that has made commits about "beating SDs butts" and enjoying it, so he is not allowed around them. When the SDs do go to BMs they always come home telling us that BM says SDs don't have to listen to me bc I am no one. BM is not allowed at SDs old school bc she tried to steal them. We have so many txt and emails from BM. BM is somewhat homeless, living with different people and hotels. It took us almost 3 yrs to get his divorce and get our custody. During this time BM called CPS on us 8 times for stupid things and CPS was on our side every time. We had to do a home study on 2 occasions. BM went through 4 different lawyers bc of non-payment. Getting our life started was a very rocky road, and still hasn't been picture perfect by any means. I ask the stars every night to open a black hole up close to BMs place of living.

And that is just a little bit.

mcnat's picture

Submitted by mcnat on Tue, 06/21/2011 - 7:08pm

i feel you with the CPS issues. We are going through hell with CPS right now because BM figured out what to tell SD14 to say to get CPS involved. So after 3 calls (they had already told us that BM was getting close to harrassment) they had to come out the 4th time and take the kids. Now we just have BS3 and egg donor has my two SC and we probably won't get them back this time but good riddance!

mcnat's picture

Submitted by mcnat on Tue, 06/21/2011 - 7:05pm

oh lord honey, you're in deep. we all have our own horror stories (check out my blog for a real jaw dropper) the BM's never get better. they continue to suck. but believe it or not you will get used to dealing with her and it won't always be so stressful. hang in there and best of luck

Soon-to-be-Step-Mommy's picture

Submitted by Soon-to-be-Step... on Wed, 06/22/2011 - 3:55pm

I totally understand. I'm resentful about the fact that I have to pick up BMs slack. DHs attitude is "What BM doesn't do for SD, WE will" Great..........so if BM decides she doesn't want to pay for something she SHOULD pay half of seeing as its HER kid...Guess who gets to pay for her?! Extremely frustrating. DH is currently waiting on a court date trying to gain full custody. I pray the judge orders the dead beat bitch to PAY US!