Divorced Parents. Moving. Choosing Parents.
I am now torn apart from my parents. They have broght this upon them. They are making me choose who to live with. How should I choose. who is supposed to make their child do this? It's complete torture. I am only 14 and I have to make my life decisions early. I don't know what to do. My dad is moving to Minnesota and my mom is moving to Iowa. PLease help me. :sick:
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To be honest, your parents
To be honest, your parents should not involve you in this. Choosing one or the other will obviously hurt a parent. honestly, i would sit down and talk to them and point blank say it is not right you are making me choose. This is not a decision you leave a child to make.
Hope it works out.
My mom and dad have now given
My mom and dad have now given me one month to decide if I want to live in Minnesota and go to 8th grade there or if I wantto stay in Iowa with my mom and go to 8th grade at my crappy school. I jkind of want to go with my dad, but I don't think it is fair. I wish my mom and brother could come with me.
I wish they hadn't made me choose. I don't want to hurt either of them. They both want me to stay with themselves. Mom is trying to make Minnesota look terrible and my dad is trying to make Iowa look terrible and boring. I don't know who to talk to, who to trust to give me a reasonable answer, and I don't know how to choose...
stay with your mom and
stay with your mom and brother.you've been there. that is a stable place to be now.let your dad settle into his new world without the responsibility of caring for a 14 yr old. in the future when your dad is settled and secure with new home,job,church,friends,etc...then go visit him during a holiday....maybe when you are older you can decide to live with your dad. for now be there for mom and brod while you all adjust to your dad being away.
you only have another year in the "crappy school"...enjoy the old friends that you have there. make the most of it!
hang in there kiddo.
i wish you the best!
I just posted on your other
I just posted on your other blog post. Just thought Id let you know on this one as well.
The dynamics between
The dynamics between stepfathers and stepdaughters is different? They don't think you are competition? Are you serious? I went to live with my mom and stepfather for two years. It was Hell and I was lucky to escape with my life.
My stepfather was a raging alcoholic who told me he hated me because I was a girl, looked like my dad (I am the spitting image of my mom), and I wasn't his. He started beating me when he lost his job and was stuck home with me. He took the money my grandparents sent for me to have clothes and shoes and bought beer with it. I had shoes with the soles coming off.
My grandparents came to visit and he started to punch me in the face in front of them so they grabbed me and left.
So maybe this child needs to talk to a therapist or someone qualified.
and reading a few books make
and reading a few books make you and expert? books are just opinions and what you say is full of crap!!
Step daughters should know their position of respect with their step mothers not some competition race.
Most step daughters do not get alone with their step mothers because they are taught by their BM's to disrespect and to know what ever is your Daddy's ( possession wise money, house, car, is yours not the other woman)
It is the lack of respect that causes friction between a step mother and daughter. Not some cave man competition.
Sheesh.
I am so sorry sweetie. My
I am so sorry sweetie. My niece has gone through this same thing lately and I think it is wrong and selfish of the parents to do such a thing. THEY should have decided who you would live with all on their own. It is indeed selfish of them to put that "burden" on YOUR shoulders. YOU are made to feel like you have to choose between them, when they could have made YOUR life much easier by choosing that for you. You may not have liked it, as I can't imagine how hard it must be to be with one and not the other, but at least you would not have been made to feel guilty by having to choose.
If I were you, I would NOT make the decision. I would sit them both down or write them a letter as soon as possible and let them know that you should not be made to choose. That THEY should agree on who you should live with and you will accept their decision. That you are a child, that you did NOT create this issue and thus, you should not bear the responsibility for making such a decision. If that doesn't work, I would ask them both to go to a counselor or speak with your school counselor, who might be able to help you through this.
I'd stay with your mom and
I'd stay with your mom and brother. The simple reason for this that divorce of parents is enough to deal with, you need to add the stress of a new school, new place, no friends to the mix. Your dad will be trying to establish himself as well and won't have as much time for you. Take the first year with your mother while all the rest has a chance to settle, tell them you want the option to make the decision again next year - maybe after a year you will have better perspective on where you want to be.
By then, your dad will be settled and you will have had more time to figure it out.
Good luck sweetie.
I totally agreee with the
I totally agreee with the above two posters. I had responded to your other post last night, and on this one. I asked why you were on this site, and never got a response from you. Im not trying to be mean or be negative at all towards you or your situation. As a Mom, I know I wouldnt approve nor want my kids to be on this site. This site in not for kids, or even stepkids sweetie, its exclusively for Step-Parents (adults only).. I feel for you and your situation, and would love to see you on a site that is for teens. Have you searched for one? I could perhaps help you look for one if you'd like. Like I said, I truly feel for you and your situation...but sweetie, your in the wrong place for honest and useful opinions from your peers, your peers are other teens/kids who are going thru these things...best of luck to your- but not sure why you are here?
Thank you! I agree
Thank you! I agree
Tell your parents that you
Tell your parents that you love them both and don't want to be forced to take sides, so to speak. They can flip a coin if that is how they want to decide the matter, but they are the adults and they are the ones who need to be responsible for this decision, no you.