as usual I suppose. I am not sure if mine and Dh's marriage is going to work. Granted we have a lot of obstacles in the way and that definetly makes it tougher than normal. My ss7 is in the process of being evaluated for Aspergers Syndrome. From what I have read and the advice I have gooten on here about it, the process is usually a long one in order to get a correct diagnoses, medications, counseling...etc and that he will never really be "normal." So in the midst of all of this, I have recently been diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder. We have been dealing with my moods for the entire time we've been together but now we know what it is. we have not yet found a medication that works yet and are still in the trial and error phase. I have told husband (before the aspergers and bipolar were even thought of) that I really disliked ss7. He maks me uncomfortable. I don't know why but he does. Being as uncomfortable as I am with ss7 it drives my anxiety through the roof when I am left alone with him...like babysitting when DH has to go somewhere or while ss is here and Dh is sleeping (he works 3rd shift). So Dh knows this already. We have also been going to counseling because of this and also to get parenting advice considering we have a total of 4 kids in the house most of the time. We had a fight last night and I am still pissed now about it. I told him that I do not choose to dislike ss and if I could I would not choose to dislike him. The counselor had told us in our last session that we must only disciplne our own children. I have BD7 from previous marriage, he has ss7 from previous relationship, sd2 from previous marriage and we have bd1 together. So as we re fighting last night I remind him of what the counselor had said. He gets mad and says well then you need to stand up and discipline your daughter. Thing is, I do discipline her, she is just so different from ss that I have to do it differently than he does. I mean I can talk to her most of the time and she understands and her behavior changes. When he talks to ss, nothing changes because ss can be looking right at him in the eye and not be hearing a word that is being said. Anyway we continue to fight each other (as we always do) comparing ss and bd like they are the same kid. He also told me that he thinks that I can control my "episodes" of extreme irritablity when I can to some degree but not completely yet. I am hoping to find the right meds and dose and counseling for awhile to be able to fully control these things. That really upset me the most. He basically said that I am able to control my feelings and mood shifts but am just not doing it when it comes to ss because I don't like him. Honestly, I wish I could control the mood shifts and I wish I could like ss and am hoping that all this will change when ss is diagnosed and medicated and once I get all my stuff in order. Oh did I mention that DH has chronic back pain and is on some medicine like moraphine or higher (don't remember the name)? As I see it our marriage is doomed. We have the high divorce rate, even higher divorce rate for being a second marriage, even higher divorce rate because we started from an affair, and the even higher divorce rate because of my disorder. When I mention these facts to DH he's says I'm being negative. I feel as though I am just being real and not burying my head in sand like he is. Anyway, any comments will be appreciated on any topic of this rant. Thanks for listening, i feel a little better now just getting it out.