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Why didn't I listen?

Toastergirl's picture

Submitted by Toastergirl on Fri, 01/02/2015 - 3:05pm

Why did I not listen to the people who warned me about dating a divorced man with a daughter?

Why was I so gullible to believe I could change things?

It's funny how I look back on everything and realize my now DH TOLD me what would drive me nuts, but put a positive spin on it:

-"oh my ex wife and I hate each other! I would never get back together with her, we fight so we don't talk."
My thought "well at least he doesn't love her anymore!"
-"my daughter and I are always going places and doing things together. I don't yell at her. I'm all about doing fun things with her."
My thought: "aww a man that does things with his child, that's great."

Now I'm reflecting thinking, everyone warned me. Sigh. My best friend of 18yrs is marrying a man next weekend that has no kids. No crazy ex wife, no child support. No craziness. She gets the big house (DH lost his big house in the divorce), she gets all the "firsts" with her husband. I settled. And now I'm reflecting thinking, "what if?" What if I had met the perfect man with no kid? Would be even exist for me? I love my DH, but there's a tiny part of me that wonders what my life would be like if I hadn't married a man with a kid.

Comments

Wah-wah-11's picture

Submitted by Wah-wah-11 on Sat, 01/03/2015 - 9:27am

Me 2!

Generic's picture

Submitted by Generic on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 2:08pm

There should be more mainstream media warning of the REAL things steplife brings. So much kumbaya garbage out there. I struggled to find any support for my stepdaughter issues online or in books. Even my therapist thought my issues were unusual and unique. It's like people don't want to admit there are these inherent issues because they don't want to admit they made a mistake. If more people were open about the struggles, there would be more sources of support. As of now, everyone seems to be suffering in silence.