First of all let me start this blog with a little information about myself. I don’t feel that I have let any of you know who I really am or what my situation is.

I don’t think mine is as bad as I some of you. I applaud you all for having the courage to face some of the situations that you have faced. I’m in awe of you all.

My father was an alcoholic the entire time I was growing up. He was verbally abusive to us children and physically abusive to my mother. Some of it I witnessed and some of it I did not. My mother felt that she couldn’t leave him because she had 4 of us children to take care of. So she stayed and put up with the abuse. It has since stopped but he’s an old man in bad health now. I had and still do have the most amazing mother in the world. I told you this information as I think it pertains to a lot of my life’s choices….I think.

I got married the first time at a very young age. I figured that anything was better than being at home with my dad. I had my first child 3 years later. I was a step mother in this marriage as well however, I got along with his son beautifully. That marriage ended because he was….guess what…an alcoholic. I couldn’t take the drinking. He didn’t want to work ½ the time and in hindsight was verbally abusive to me. I finally got fed up with him after 6 years of marriage and divorced him.

I got into another relationship after 2 years and we lived together without being married. I vowed never to get married again. This man was physically and verbally abusive. He was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and Anger issues. As long as he was medicated he was great but as soon as he was off the meds he was a monster. During one of the times that he was on his meds we conceived a child together. After about 3 months of pregnancy he went off the meds and became more evil than I had ever seen him. After my son was born I kicked him out of my house. He stalked me for a little while but finally found someone to take up his time and leave me alone. We were together for a total of 4 years.

Along comes current DH into my life. We met via the telephone at my former employer. The company that he works for purchased manufactured product from the company that I worked for and I was his customer service rep. We talked on the phone all of the time. He was going through a divorce at the same time that my relationship was ending. No surprise that we “clicked”. We talked on the phone extensively for about 4 months before we ever met in person. The reason for this is because he lived 350 miles away from me in another state. I had never talked to someone that was so much my soulmate. We were perfect for each other and things just flowed so smoothly with us. He was crazy about my children and I about his. We only saw each other on the weekends but talked every night. (boy the phone bills were astronomical) We had decided to get married after a year of this traveling and calling. My position at the company was being consolidated to another place and I was unwilling to move there….therefore I was out of a job. We married and I moved to his state since he had been on his job for 10 years….it was logical.

Whew! I apologize…I need a break.