For the rest of my life.
Well, this is it, what I got when I married a man with children. Yes, they do grow up and stop sucking up what funds there are. Yes, it's much easier now that they're both over 21. In just a few months and we are starting to breath a little easier financially. It was never the money that bothered me.
It is and was their keeper. I tend to think of her as an animal wrangler, dirty, unkempt, standing in a steaming pile of shyte and piss whilst trying to keep them (2 sk's) under control. It's my vision to hang on to when I have to hear her name mentioned. Oh, dear lord how I hate that women.
Why now? :::::sigh:::::: January DH had a great day with SD21. They spent the day eating and shopping and seemingly had a really good time together. It was the first time that they'd spent alone (with just each other) since she was 4 or 5. They've texted and talked on the phone but haven't hung out since.
SD23, just had her birthday last weekend and finally wanted to see her father.... and actually met with him! Alone, same deal as her younger sister. Out to eat, some shopping, walking around the city (we live in big metro city). Both had a good time, all 'i love you's' via text that night and next day.
They both went home, where they've lived with the keeper since she wrangled custody 15 years ago. And they've dined on her poison every single day. No one was able to stop her, she did everything she could to keep them from their father and has been pretty successful all these years.
So, of course, after a good visit with their Dad, what does the Keeper do? She gets even..... The poison dosage got upped when both skids said that they had fun. They came home with things.
So, he must be buying their attention, affection, etc. He must have a motive for wanting to spend time with his own children. And other assorted bullshoot. But, after years of it, it does work, and it did work. One told her father something on text that caused him to shout 'FU' at the phone, and send a text with the same words! (I think that Cee Lo Green has something to do with it)
I just turned to him and said that I had thought that the crazy drama was over, and what's this new crap. I don't want or need this from adults, including him.
And so it begins, the trials of young adulthood in stepparenting. I toasted it with an icy cold martini that had a stuffed olive (blue cheese). Okay, maybe more then one. I managed childhood, but this stage looks like it might need something better, stronger maybe.
Going to think about moving to Denver.
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Comments
I am not officially
I am not officially depressed!
Where is the gin?? I need a double!
Just lovely. What a shame.
Just lovely. What a shame. Sorry the time out got turned into something bad by the BM.
Enjoy the martini. And Denver is nice.
The idea that kids who have
The idea that kids who have been pas'd their ENTIRE life, will somehow change loyalties, think differently, and snap out of it because they have morphed into adulthood is simply delusional...They have fed on this type of life pattern...it is all they know....
We experienced the same thing with our now 40 year old and older s adults...they bastardize everything you do....I finally disengaged from their toxic program, and have come to realize that this is their baggage to deal with...their legacy handed down to them by a narcacisstic parent that only thought about themselves...It is mental illness, and the perfect hate crime...
But, as adults they get to choose...I have been reminded day after day after day...Do not pick it up IT IS THEIRS to deal with...do not feed it, do not tolerate it, enable it, or give it an audience...Until they can break free from their mother's clutches, and the disorders that she entertains...they will out of habit,,,because they have been marinated in it so along...the expectation from their mother that they are supposed to turn the targeted parents motives into something bad....
It is hard not to take it personally...but most of this "Special group of people"...do not even know what they have been conditioned to be...It is like a cult...they have been brainwashed by their own mother...."The favored one"...
What you are suffering as a result of this abuse is called complex trauma....It took me three years of my life to break free from participating with them...and mentally it is still challenging today...I just cannot pick it up...it is not mine to deal with...it is theirs....was a good way to think about this...
I found myself getting sucked into the bitterness and hate they spewed at us every opportunity they had and still have (now using the innocent grandkids the same way)...It is a sick and twisted way to exist..and I would recommend getting some professional help by someone who has experience int this particular field..the problem is, it is so newly diagnosed,,,many counselors aren't trained properly yet to help people get free and recover from all the trauma and the effects that has on you as a person...There is nothing normal about it...They have to learn to own themselves and their choices...Out three showed incredible loyalty to bm for almost 30 years..then bm died a few years ago...and they still do not know how to live any other way...
It is so sad and so frustrating watching people you care about walking around so blind to their own condition...It seems like every time I try to help them get out of their delusional vortex they are stuck in...they just suck me back in...You can't save someone from quicksand without drowning yourself in this case...
You are correct in that. I
You are correct in that. I recently had hopes that SD was coming out of her haze. Nope. Not happening.