You are here

So many positives that I don’t trust it

Thisisnotus's picture

Submitted by Thisisnotus on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 2:18pm

For real! Since my divorce and then step life....very few things have gone well for me. That has seemed to change in the last couple of weeks.....

i got a huge unexpected  promotion at work making double what I did....best part is that my a-hole ex had just taken me back to court last month to reduce his CS. I spent 3k on an attorney and he spent the same.....he now pays $40 less per month on an over 1k payment......so the joke is on him....and he pressed for the CS to be calculated accordingly as to when all 3 turn 18 so we never have to go back to court. Ha. 

My DH finally woke up the SD17 and boyfriend BS. ThE answer has been NO every time she asks.

DH is now forcing SD17 to get her license next week so DH doesn’t have to run himself ragged driving his kids around anymore....since they don’t sleep over they can just drive back to BMs at their leisure.

BM asked DH to help her buy a car for SD17....he said a big fat NO and to not ask again....he finally realized that his 1K CS can pay for that shit! We are planning to buy and “extra” car right my dd15 and SD17 can use when they are at our house....

i have a few more to add when I think of them!

So now I wait for the bottom to fall out!!! Lol

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 2:22pm

Congratulations of your promotion!!! Fingers crossed the positives last! Biggrin

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 2:28pm

Congrats on the promotion!  The unexpected ones are the best.

LOL at the CS.  Did your ex think there'd be a much larger reduction?  At $40 a month, it'll take him over 6 years to recoup the lawyer's fees.  And that's without taking the time value of money into account.  SMH.

What do you think finally made your DH stop driving SD and the boyfriend all over creation?  That was crazy; I'm glad he finally saw the light.

I hope the positives keep coming!

Thisisnotus's picture

Submitted by Thisisnotus on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 3:39pm

My ex had no clue how much money I made I guess. He lost Bad. We also used to do 50/50 medical and now he pays 90 percent and me 10. And I have primary custody of our 2 youngest kids when we used to have shared.....not sure what he was thinking.

i finally just told my dh point blank. I guess straight forward communication does work. And likely he is tired of it too.

 

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 8:37pm

Maybe he is worried, with your big fat raise, you will leave his dumb@ss if he doesn't quit his weird BS.

Congrats on the raise!

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 2:52pm

This is great! Congratulations on your promotion and wishing you many more happy and positive moments like this. I'm glad your H finally came to his senses and has learned to say No. I was sure that eventually he'd be exhausted playing chauffer.

 

Thisisnotus's picture

Submitted by Thisisnotus on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 4:03pm

Thanks! Me too. It’s a step. It has been a LONG 4 years.....not long ago DH would have agreed to give BM half the money for a car....It took me a long time to feel like I had a say in how he spent his money but we do share a home and a child so I spoke up about a year ago and it’s gotten better and better.....now he simply says NO.

learning to say no to skids is a work in progress.....but maybe there is hope.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 3:18pm

Please, please take a portion of your raise and use it to create a rainy day fund. Knowing that you have the funds to leave is so empowering.

Thisisnotus's picture

Submitted by Thisisnotus on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 3:40pm

I own our home and it’s paid for and much more than we ever could need so....I do have that if needed.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 3:28pm

ON the positivity happening right now! Time to save for that possible escape hatch if needed...

Sparkl3s's picture

Submitted by Sparkl3s on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 3:59pm

Congratulations! Enjoy your wins I think steplife sometimes puts you in constant "fight or flight" mode, so it's hard to just accept the good. Maybe a spa day will help you embrace it? 

Thisisnotus's picture

Submitted by Thisisnotus on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 4:06pm

I have been non stop in fight or flight....it’s a horrible way to live. It’s been so nice having something good happen......

i will expect SD to now approach DH about a car but I have already solved that problem since I’m about to to have my DD start driving.....so I simply told dh that we are buying a spare car that belongs to US and only us and DD and SD may ASK us to borrow it.