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Maybe I am just a wicket step mother

Thisisnotus's picture

Submitted by Thisisnotus on Wed, 02/05/2020 - 5:01pm

Maybe I am. I know I’ve mentioned that my dh has some weird....super weird thing about facilitating SD17 and her boyfriends relationship.

 But right now I am fuming mad....

i sort of blew up at DH around Christmas how I didn’t appreciate him never consulting me when the BF comes home from school with SD....meaning MIL or DH has picked them up from school and he doesn’t leave until at least 8.....when he begins the 2 hour trip to drop off SD12 at BMs and the BF at his house which. Is another 30 min past BMs.

DH agreed to consult with me before saying yes to the BF coming over. It lasted for about a month......like everything else.....but thankfully during that month he said NO sometimes to the BF.

last Friday he already said yes....and then just let me know.

Well today, the next visitation after Friday....I’m home from work and in walks MIL SDs and the BF....not a word from DH.

DH was still at work so I just left for an hour or so until he got home......because I am not feeding them or babysitting or whatever 

i am bad at hiding my anger so he’s all like what’s wrong....what’s the problem....like everything is just fine. 

I am literally so mad.......and I don’t feel I should be this level of angry over this......I can’t help it...there is an almost 18 year old MAN added into the visitation schedule of skids......like what????

if you don’t already know.....neither SD or BF drive.

 

Comments

Thisisnotus's picture

Submitted by Thisisnotus on Wed, 02/05/2020 - 5:28pm

I have to add one more thing that is of course happening as we speak.

i needed some space......so i bought a new sofa and TV for the baby’s room which is down stairs where the mater bedroom is.....so I could have a living room area to retreat too. The rest of our home is major open floor plan.

upstairs is SDs room where she and BF normally hide and also up there is a small living room with sofa and Tv upstairs .....also we have a large family room and an outdoor area with furniture and it’s a warm day....

of all the places....where are SD and BF hanging out? Oh that’s right....on my New couch in the baby’s room.

kill me 

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Wed, 02/05/2020 - 5:38pm

Put a LOCK on that door immediately.  Like yesterday!  NO way no how are they allowed in there. 

Thisisnotus's picture

Submitted by Thisisnotus on Wed, 02/05/2020 - 7:28pm

And if anyone is wondering.....SD12 continued to sing at the top of her lungs for 2.5 hours straight. I can’t even tell you what that does to someone like me......how about about shut the FU$K up for 5 minutes.....baby went to bed but can’t sleep cause this psycho kid is putting on a concert.....

DH finally thank god....started ignoring her for 30 seconds and turned on the TV so she grabbed her back pack and said she was ready to go back to her moms.....BYE.....see ya in 2 hours after your drop off everyone DH....you giant moron.

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Wed, 02/05/2020 - 8:50pm

This is your home too right?  Draw some boundaries...babies room is off limits as it's her space and two near adults don't need to be hanging out in there.

Set a boundary in the noise level, SD can practice for half and hour then give it a rest.  Your DH is already a doormat to his children, don't be a doormat to him and his children.  Set house rules and stick to them...DH doesn't like it...then ask him why he's okay allowing children to set the rules of the house?

Monkeysee's picture

Submitted by Monkeysee on Thu, 02/06/2020 - 3:42am

Omg. Locks on the baby’s room stat. Those kids have no reason to be in there, keep them out. I’d lose my ever loving mind with this gongshow! 

I agree with everyone, it’s time for you to take control back. Who cares if H shuts down or doesn’t communicate.. EVERY time he lets BF come over, or SD12 sing at the top of her lungs (omg I can’t even with that...), you need to lose your shit. Like, properly rain it down on him, this is NOT OKAY. I can feel my stress levels rising just reading this BS, I want to climb through the phone and lose it on the lot of them for you!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Thu, 02/06/2020 - 4:06am

Nothing is going to change until you change yourself. Quit being such a passive doormat! Go on the warpath, and make your awful H more afraid of you than he is of his kids.

And take the damn remote to the t.v. until you get those locks on the French doors.

 

 

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Thu, 02/13/2020 - 2:40pm

ThisIsNotUs~

This could never be me. I'd be damned if everyone else is walking around happy go lucky and I'm in a rage. This is happening because your H lacks the b@lls to set boundaries you don't either. 

Find your voice and raise f@cking hell in YOUR home. So what if they don't like it. Be the bitch and hold that title proudly. I'm not paying mortgage on a house and allow others to have me walk on eggshells....f@ck all that! If I'm miserable, guess what....they are ALL going down and be miserable too.

You're too nice and let a lot slide.....keep letting it go OP and you're going to find yourself with a mental break down.