TheWickedStepmom's Blog
I'm trying to stay positive, but damn. :(
So today marks 1 month that I have been disengaged from my sk's. The first week was hard, but now I have so much peace and I am so much happier. I am looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas focused only on my kids... in fact, I'm excited about it! It's been YEARS since I could DO for them and not have to worry about being FAIR.
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DH says my disengaging is NOT helping...
...he thinks my disengaging is making things worse with sd20. I asked him how. He says, "Because neither of you are talking about the problems." I said, "I told her my issues and what I expected. I told her that when she decided to grow up and be more respectful, she would be welcome in my home and around myself and my kids again. She knows." Then he said, "I'm tired of being stuck in the middle."
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Update on SS22's crap in my spare room...
DH called ss22 tonight because he had some mail here. It's a paper he has to fill out because he doesn't have liability insurance. I could hear ss yelling at dh on the phone all dh said was, "you wanna shut up so I can explain this to you for once in your life?" He goes on to tell ss that he HAS to fill this form out or else they will revoke the registration for his car. SS argued about it with dh. True to form.
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Need some opinions please...
SS22 was living with us up until about 3 weeks ago. DH had told him that I was going to be setting up some rules so for him to be prepared... needless to say, he left and never came back. (rules included $100 per month rent, $25 per week for food if he ate here, must maintain a job and could only change jobs if it was for more money or better benefits, must be respectful to everyone in the home, etc) SS22 didn't even bother to wait and find out what the rules were. He heard "RULES" and he bailed! SHOCK right? (A little background... SS22 moved in here I don't even remember how long ago.
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disengaging & healing... how long???
Since I have only disengaged 3 weeks ago, I am wondering how long it takes to heal after you disengage. My husband mentioned my sd tonight and it took all I had to not just immediately set off in a long slur of cuss words. I mean, just the mention of her name makes me want to scream.
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My Step-Parenting History
I met & married my dh in 1999. He had his 2 kids with him (then ss 11 & sd and I had 2 children (then ds 6 & dd 2). The following year we added our youngest dd & brought our total to 5 children that we had full time in our care. My ds's bio-dad lived in the area and saw ds every 1-2 weeks depending on his schedule. My dd's bio-father had only seen her 1 time between the ages of 14-20 months and he disappeared when she was 20 months old.
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