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the_stepmonster's picture

At what age do parents stop "tucking in" their kids? I don't think it's a problem now (the one that insists on being "tucked in" whether she is ready for bed or not is 10) but it made me wonder when she when grow out of it. At 12? 13? Last night the girls were playing video games in their room around 10:30pm. Since its the weekend we usually let them play for a while.. DH and I were both exhausted so he went to tell them good night. This is when SD10 freaked out and told him "what?? You're not even going to tuck us in???" SD11 said she wasn't done playing and told her sister to please stay up and play with her. She eventually decided to stay up but not after giving DH a guilt trip about always sleeping in bed with me and never sleeping in her bed with her. Luckily he is starting to recognize she has a really unnatural obsession with him and brushed it off but it just made me wider how long this mini-wife was going to try and get my husband to sleep with her.

Comments

RainbowsAndDaisies's picture

My parents stopped reading to me and tucking me in every.single.night when I was about 8 (of course, at 8 I had a 5 year old sister, two four year old sisters, and an infant brother, so there were probably other motivating factors). However, if I was very upset about something, my mother would still tuck me in - she did when i was a teenager and she has actually done it once or twice as an adult. I have always been deeply appreciative that she did - it has always made me feel loved and safe, even as an adult. I think it depends on both the kid and the parents.

the_stepmonster's picture

It's every single time. And he has a 5 year old and we have a baby on the way. I think once they are older every once in a while is fine and I know if I was upset my mom would comfort me also but SD11 has long grown out of it so it just made me wonder.

bi's picture

11 years old and bawling about not being tucked in? i cannot even imagine! i don't know you restrained yourself! i remember being 11, and that is far below the emotional maturity level i had at that age, and i think it's a safe bet that most 11 year olds would not bawl about that.

3littlemonkeys's picture

I would tuck my kids in for as long as they wanted me to. They are only little once. Smile And, no, I don't tuck my DS17 into bed anymore Wink

Filly's picture

My tucking days ended when I was 5 years old.
By the time I was 10 I did not want anyone touching me anyway.
I guess I grew up fast.

I personally think the whole tucking thing needs to end at least by 8 years old. Tucking should be reduce to hugging and maybe a quick peck on the cheek or forhead , and saying good night, I love you.

11 years old in my book is getting a little old. Some girls are hitting puberty at that age, tits are forming, periods are starting, hormone confused. Personally tucking needs to be stopped before then.

Neither one of my SD's gets a tucking. Personally in my book both to old for it. one is 11 the other 13. I give them hugs before they go to bed. Hugs around here are ageless.

the_stepmonster's picture

Hugs are all fine and dandy but I guess it's strange to me b/c she is starting to get boobies, has been super hormonal and I'm pretty sure is starting her period soon. This is a full on tuck in complete with story time and extended bedside chats and begging for DH to stay in bed with her until she falls asleep. He doesn't but it doesn't stop her from asking every single night. When he tells her she is too old for him to be sleeping with her her reply is "well SM is way older than I am and you sleep with her!"

the_stepmonster's picture

He says "When you are older and have a husband are you gonna still want to be sleeping with your daddy?" Before I came along they used to all camp out in the living room together.

RainbowsAndDaisies's picture

Also, we use reading at bedtime as an incintive for good behaviour. It enforces to ss that reading is a good, fun thing and it is very effective. If i tell him that unless he brushes his teeth right now (or whatever) there will be no stories, he brushes his teeth right then.

Brady_Bunch_plus_some's picture

I still "tuck" all 3 of my kids in at night. 17, 13 and 5. They get themselves ready for bed and I go to each to say good night and give them a kiss. They will all be grown and on their own soon enough. Its my way of staying connected. The older ones still want me to do it and I'm sure it will continue until they go away to college. I'm perfectly content to do it.

stepmonster_2011's picture

My older daughter is sufficient with a wave and "g'nite" as she goes to her room, the younger one falls asleep with all her lights on, so I have to go in and turn them off. which gives me a chance to adjust her covers and give her a quick kiss too. nothing crazy, but I like doing it Smile

Newstep's picture

SD is 13 SO just stopped carrying her to bed every night about 8mos ago. She would fall asleep on the couch no shower or change into jammies and he would carry her to bed. He finally put a bedtime rule in effect but he still has to tuck her in every night. He also has to walk her to the door every morning so she can get on the bus for school.

imjustthemaid's picture

My daughter is 10 and she sleeps with BD3 so I bring them both to bed and I tuck in 3 yr old while DD10 is brushing her teeth usually.

My sister has twin boys that are 10. She makes them do cuddle time on the couch every night. They hate it. Then she brings them to bed and reads to them. I think this is kinda odd since they know how to read. But I don't say anything to her.

When I met DH, SD was 10 and sleeping in his bed. She was not happy when I evicted her!!

Doubletakex3's picture

SD is a week from being 11. About a year ago FDH stopped tucking her in; however, she comes and says goodnight and gets a hug before going to bed.

FDH raised the kids for 9 years alone before I came along. BM is a psycho so he was very concerned about potential allegations of inappropriate behavior. As such, he never slept in SD's room.

When I was a kid, I would sit with my dad in his area and he'd read with me for awhile, we'd hug & I'd go off to bed. I don't recall him every officially "tucking me in."