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20 year old Step Son

LindaKjl's picture

Submitted by LindaKjl on Mon, 07/22/2013 - 3:04pm

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General Discussion

Soo, my husband's son (20 year old) has lived with his bio mom since the divorce. Bio mom has once again been evicted and has been forced to move. SS doesn't like the new house bio mom is renting. He has not officially "moved in" with us but he comes and goes 7 days a week and at least 3 nights a week he just walks into the guest room, throws his stuff on the floor and makes himself right at home in bed and spends the night

Last night I go to bed fairly early as it was a hectic weekend. About 1:30 in the morning I wake up because I hear water running. It's SS. He let himself in and is in the shower (which is right next to our master bedroom. Note I have to be up at 6:00 a.m. for work.

My husband feels soooo sorry or this "boy" that he doesn't like the new house bio mom is now renting and that his poor son basically is "homeless" so he says.

Would this irritate you that you are woken up from a sound sleep at 1:30 in the morning because SS lets himself in to shower and basically spend the night unannounced?

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Mon, 07/22/2013 - 3:08pm

I'd have been irritated way before the shower incident.

No 20 year old should have privileges to just drop in without being invited.

Living the dream's picture

Submitted by Living the dream on Mon, 07/22/2013 - 3:08pm

Yeah, it would. He has no business just letting himself into your house, unless he formally lives there.

Formally living there, by the way, would include adult responsibilities like paying market-rate rent, buying food, and helping with chores.

He's using your place as a flophouse.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Mon, 07/22/2013 - 3:10pm

Hmmmm...yeah!! We changed our locks last week because SS20 decided to creep into our home and spend 3 days there while WE were on vacation. I was FURIOUS!!! It's the generation, I am totally convinced now that I see I am not the only one dealing with a man/child Skid. (who BTW - I kicked out last month and no longer lives with us)

TASHA1983's picture

Submitted by TASHA1983 on Mon, 07/22/2013 - 3:25pm

I would have been furious!

For one, NOBODY that doesn't live in our home is having a key or access to our home when no one is there or otherwise. If you want to come over...call or text first to see if it is ok with us because our lives don't revolve around you. And once a kid is out of the house at 18^ they are GONE...there is NO coming back after that, or living with us period. Unless there is some EXTREME case as to why they would need to but you bet your ass it is going to be temporary! Once s/kids are old enough to be on their own and move out it is dh and my time to live!

Cocoa's picture

Submitted by Cocoa on Mon, 07/22/2013 - 4:24pm

i know it sucks, but you're going to have to have a talk with your dh about the things the ladies posted above. it'll make waves, but it's better than you holding it all in and exploding on them. it's your home, too and you DO have a say regarding who comes and goes, rules for regular "guests" (ie...rent, chores, etc...). you'll have to speak up or he'll be 25 and doing the same thing