SO's kids ...I hate to say it are f'D.
Is it normal for a STB 15 year old to cut herself in front of her family? Please read below-
Every time I post about something...Im not kidding the very next day, something happens(almost like a form of instant karma, although I don't have anything involving the kids to be guilty of I Don't think).
So after BMs incessant need for her Money yesterday...She calls last night and we both(me and SO) thought, its because she wants more money...at least the rest of it.
Well, that wasn't the case last night, again BM called once (in an emergency situation-she likes to say she calls more, she doesnt) and let her STB 15 yr old daughter, walk the streets of Toronto a lone to her friends house(its in an area where hookers and drug addicts hang out) because BM was in the bath and didn't think her daughter would leave the house.
What prompted SD15 to walk out?
Her and her brother got into a fight and SD took out an exacto knife and started to cut herself in front of them. Then SS jumped on her and took the knife away;After things settled down, their daughter spent the night at a friends house.
I don't mean to be rude, namely to SO...but is that not deranged? To actually get a knife out and start cutting yourself? I really like SD, when she was down at our place she was fine, she had a few low points but nothing that would cause this. We just dropped her off on Sunday after she spent 2 weeks with us.
SO wants her to live with us, I am reconsidering...not because I don't like SD, I do-I took her shopping, bought herself, got her eyebrows waxed...things normal people do....hence, the emphasis on "normal"....I just wonder if there is something that she has that is unfixable? Like she belongs in an institute...there are moments where I am not lying, "I think she's normal" and then she'll say something, like "Daddy" or get a bit Looney Tooney-I don't know how to describe it-where I hate to say it...I see the craziness.
I have a DD 5(not related to SO or the Skids at all)maybe she really does have LOW self esteem...and is destroying herself by cutting because she feels worthless.
Im not a psychiatrist, I can't tell SO these things because he thinks by her living here, she will be better...that is not the case....
Do you think that this is a self esteem issue? or are these issues that are unfixable and needing serious treatment like institutionalism?
Both kids have been out of school for im guessing 8 weeks now...I think SO bred with a Looney Tune...his son had issues as a child, now his daughter does.
Is crazy or anger in the genes?
I hope I don't sound mean Ive gone thru my share of insanity as well.
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Comments
I don't know why she cuts.
I don't know why she cuts. What I do know is that I hope SO is doing all he can to get her professional help.
I think he needs to sit down with her and have a discussion with her. He needs to ask her how she's doing. He needs to be prepared to listen without judgment and not come across as accusatory.
Very true...thank you...I had
Very true...thank you...I had a discussion with her, she opened up to me, not to her father...I don't think her mom knows everything she has told me as well.
But yes, SO is going to get her help...
This is not necessarily a
This is not necessarily a self esteem issue...but more, a teen in pain issue.
For what I have read,most cutters say that they use cutting as a way to distract themselves from the pain they feel on the inside by giving themselves physical pain on the outside.Cutting is a bandaid solution, not a a long-term solution.
I have a friend who has done this...she says it gives her relief from the pressure building up inside her.
This teen needs help.
Thank you...Cutting is a band
Thank you...Cutting is a band aid to probably a long road ahead of her.
I appreciate your feedback.
I don't think
I don't think institutionalism is the right thing...right now she is on meds...I disagree with them, they only work in my opinion if you have an actual chemical imbalance. She has opened up to me, probably A LOT more to me than her parents, she told me she was doing major dieting and was making herself throw up...she thinks she is fat....she is not. She'll never be rail thin...but she has a nice figure.
My mom did some damage to me as well, parents should have been divorced, but I never let that affect who I am- although it did cause some major self esteem issue and so in effect made me socially awkward.
Anyways, I am glad you got the help you needed...I am afraid of her being promiscuous...I get the feeling she'll become pregnant soon...I don't know why...but I always felt that. If that's the case its not the end of the world...I had my daughter at 22...not terribly young...but younger.
That's what SO is trying to
That's what SO is trying to do...its just doing it in front of everyone and her behavior, I hate to say it...is sometimes "looney"...like calling her dad, "daddy" and im not kidding- she is sometimes acting like she belongs in kindergarten, at times...its weird...but perhaps normal if you do this...I don't know.
I hope your doing well and have confronted your issues!
She could use good
She could use good counseling. She has inner pain that hurts too much and she doesn't know how to handle it. Cutting gives her a sense of control of herself, temporarily alleviates the real pain deep inside that she feels is too much, and its not only dangerous but it is addicting. She won't stop bc she moves in with you guys, cutters usually cut in places that can't be seen when they want you to think that they stopped.
Ways you can help too her along with good counseling, is for you and your DH to learn what you can about cutters and how their emotions work, teach her better coping skills such as holding an ice cube as long as she can when she has the urge to cut for it gives her the same relief, and understand that she feels like a wreck on the inside and that she can overcome it. Make sure you take care of yourself bc it can be draining on the people who try to help her work through her problems. She needs outlets to release her inner pain, I would encourage her to write in a journal, take up a hobby, have a pet that she needs to be responsible for, or such. From my understanding, many cutters have been sexually abused and feel responsible which may come out in counseling.
Of course that is just my take/opinion on this. Best of luck to you all.