TheAccidentalSM's Blog
Compromises
I was reading a forum post were the OP is getting divorced because her STBexDH didn't seem to be able to change in any way to meet her needs. This got me thinking about how marriage is about equitable compromises.
A silly example for me is I hate cleaning. I really hate it but my DH hates having cleaners in the house. So we compromised on household chores and he does all the cleaning while I do cooking, etc. Another is live music, DH loves it. I'm more meh but in before C19 times I used to go to most of the gigs becuase it make him happy to share something he loves.
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The downsides to not launching properly - a cautionary tale for skids
Launching is such an important job as a parent but we read so many stories here where parents with COD just don't do it right.
One blog I read this morning made me think of part of my dad's family set up.
My dad is remarried. The break of his marriage to my mother and his DW's were messy so nether set of children got through the process without some resentment but its years later so we all act like adults for the most part and avoid spending too much time together.
Bullet dodged
With C19 shutting everything down were we live OSS28 and MSS26 were put on furlough. OSS works in the hospitality industry and MSS works in events.
On Monday, the company MSS works for let all of their employees go. He's understandably upset because he loved the job and was good at it but there just aren't going to be any large scale events for the forseeable. OSS's job is still holding on the time being but we'll see what happens.
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OT - WOB and Dave Grohl
Didn't mean to be a blog hog but I just saw an "All Star" version of Dave Grohl and various others doing "Times Like These" and it reminded me of a story WOB told about her duet with him at a wedding (I think I'm remembering this right).
Live Lounge Allstars perform 'Times Like These' • Radio 1's Stay Home Live Lounge BBC
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Food
Something I notice often in people's blogs is stories about skids helping themselves to food without checking with the adults in the house. Is this normal?
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OT - Emergency averted
After trying to order wine online from what felt like everywhere, including department stores, my local independant wine shop came through. Not only did they take my order but they delivered it 3 hours later.*biggrin**dance4**biggrin*
While we are on lockdown, I've been trying to support local businesses. The great speedy services I've been getting from the local convience stores, delis and now the wine shop have re-inforced this position.
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Follow up to Monkeysee's blog
"There are children out there catching this virus, some of them require hospitalization, others can fight it at home. If your child gets sick & needs to be hospitalized, how likely is it that mum & dad will get to be by their child’s side as they fight for their lives? If enough children get sick, how long do you think it will be before hospitals start banning parents from being there with/for their kids? "
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How has you life changed since your first post
I went back and re-read my first blog post that I wrote 5 years ago. There have been many changes since than. Some good and some not so great.
The good
I have a quiet life free of step life drama. My evil boss left the company and my new boss is awesome. I can see looking back that I was clinically depressed I literally couldn't get out of bed except to go to work. I've done a lot of CBT and other therapy and am doing great
The bad
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Well it went ok
The funeral service and reception went better than I'd expected. There were so many ways it could have been a fiasco.
DH's eulogy was really great. He spoke eloquently about YSS's life and illness. There were tears from YSS's exSF who got a mention from DH about what a huge influence he was on YSS. DH also made sure that exSF sat with the family in the chapel. BM wasn't keen on this but exSF saw YSS on a regular basis and BM hadn't seen him in over 4 years. IMO, exSF had more rights to sit with us.
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Gearing up for the funeral
We are getting ready for the funeral next week. DH wants it to be a celebration of YSS life. None of us are religious so it will be a secular ceremony.
I've just been editing DH's funeral speech today. Yesterday was spent visiting the cemetary, picking a playlist, organising food & drink for the reception and digging photos out of old computers & camera cards.
I'm not sure there is enough wine in the world to get through this week.
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