You are here

THE SHOE IS ON THE OTHER FOOT NOW!

teresalove's picture

Submitted by teresalove on Tue, 03/08/2011 - 9:58am

Now that I'm expecting my own baby I think about all the times that I resented my boyfriend's children.I wonder now if we were to break up would his new gf or wife ressent our baby like I did his. How could I sheild my child from this? Somethings that come to mind. I think that if we were to break up that I would only ask him to keep our child every other weekend. I would not try to put my child off on some other woman, if he doesn't want to keep our baby. The first time that I hear her complain that she has to do stuff for our kid,that will be the day that I take my baby and he will only be able to get her or him when he ask or the child ask. I will ask him for help financially, but I won't force him to help. I'm making the choice to bring this baby into the world so I will take on most of the responsibilty, but some help from him would be nice. I'm saving money now and plan to have at least $20,000 saved by the time the baby is born so that I will not be stressed about money. I do freelance work, work parttime, and I am a fulltime student. When I gradute next year. I plan to get my masters degree. What are your thoughts on this?

Comments

lm862003's picture

Submitted by lm862003 on Tue, 03/08/2011 - 10:05am

To tell you the truth, it sounds like you are already thinking of leaving your boyfriend.

Most stepparents have mixed feelings about their stepkids - everything that I have read and experienced tells me that is normal. A lot of how you act I think is based on awareness of those feelings.. why am I feeling this way? What can I do about it? Are there others out there that feel the same way? How can I do the RIGHT thing? Obviously, its not easy, but we can be equipped with the right resources to do our part in order to make a difficult situation a little less difficult.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 03/08/2011 - 10:21am

The best way to shield your baby from being raised by a Sparent is to commit to your relationship with your BF, get married, put your marriage first and grow and for you and SO to nurture the marriage above all else.

Then you and your SO can raise your child in a secure, committed, caring and strong marriage and not have to worry about your own child having to be raised by a Sparent who may or may not care for your child as you would like them to.

IMHO of course.

Best regards,